No one gives a shit about any introduction but here we go. This is the first article of bi-weekly DFS focused articles for your entertainment. I’ll detail some of my plays, results, and anything else that comes to mind throughout the time it takes me to write each of these articles.

First, here are a couple of the vocabulary words you need to learn from the Cash God:

1) The Big Papa (The degen-slate showdown contest with the highest payout)

2) Leaving dick on the table or Dick on the Table (Salary leftover, ideally thousands in showdown)

3) Fish Slapped (Winning a H2H)

4) The Big Vault (Gains made during the afternoon part of the slate)

5) The Dustball list (These are guys you just don’t ever play for whatever reason. Jimmy Graham is king dustball)

There are many more that will be used when they are needed, but these are just a few to get started.

Since this is the beginning of the week and the first article, I’ll just go into a little more detail on the Dustball list, (sometimes referred to as team dustball) go over my results from the Tuesday Night Showdown, and then punt it off to the next article.

There are many people in DFS that refer to players as “Dust”, or “Dusty”, but it is important to keep track of these players in list format. The dustball list was created for this purpose. This list spans across all sports and is pretty much a player you will never play. As noted above, Jimmy Graham is king fucking dustball. I don’t care how good the matchup is, I will never play him. With him a further explanation is not necessary. I encourage you all to make your own dustball lists that you can refer to if you ever find yourself clicking on players like Jimmy Graham or Kenyan Drake. I’m seriously not sure if Drake is hurt or just dust, but he has made his way up the list in record time this season.

I am writing this coming off of a Tuesday Night Football sweat of a lifetime for min cash. I obviously played in the big papa. I had never been so confident that I had stumbled upon the stone cold nuts only to have Darrynton Evans leave and never come back. I’m not sure what is more tilting between that and Ryan Tannehill missing a fucking wide-open Anthony Paul Firkser for a touchdown.

I will admit that I went against the Oracle’s Captain pick of Josh Allen and went with Diggs in the captain seat with Tanne, the TEN double TE special, Josh Allen, and Darrynton Evans. Left $2.9k dick on the table. Mistakes were made with the scrubs, but I ended up making the big vault into min cash. Normally you don’t want to stray away from the Oracles Captain pick.  

Looking ahead to the main slate this week, for some reason DK waited until Christmas to release their salaries after mistakenly releasing them on Sunday night. At least their stat-keeper isn’t complete shit like FD. Legend has it the scores are still not updated. I’ll be taking a deep dive into the slate later this week and revealing my Cash God Guarantee on Saturday.

In addition to my GPP entries I’m looking to get back into the H2H games and fish slapping some poor saps on Sunday.

Look for the next article in preparation for Sunday’s games on Saturday.

-Cash God-