It’s Wednesday night. My cash god guarantee was fucking terrible rendering many of my lineups dead on impact. Le’Veon Bell was somewhere between absolute horse ass and the most vile ass shit. The Pornstar whisperer might want to look into a porn career himself after scoring 2.76 points and being likely ruled out for the season. Dalvin Cook whipping out his footlong snake on Green Bay managed to salvage several of my lineups so I ended up only being down a small amount.

The Dalvin dicking, a Chiefs Stack/pieces, and the SEA-SF game ended up accounting for the majority of the highest scoring for the week. The Chiefs game was an inexcusable, egregious fuck up by me-a gross oversight some may say. I got way too caught up in the Bell revenge narrative bullshit and should have been thinking about Mahomes leaving a permanent imprint on Adam Gase’s face with his balls.

I don’t really plan on going to deep in on Monday Night. Flaccid Dick Brady, who’s arm strength closely resembles Wrinkled Penis Elbow Brees, willed the team to another win with some very inspiring cheering from the sidelines. It’s safe to say Danny Dimes is officially on the dustball list. I was actually relatively high on him coming in to the year but holy shit he is bad.

In my Monday Night lineup I left over $5k dick on the table but did not cash in the papa. Here’s a shot of me right after Big Dick Dion scored the first TD:

My lineup ended up not being terrible overall, especially considering I left a lot of dick out there. Fourskin in the captain seat, no Gallman, and no Succop ultimately fucked it.

Packers-Niners on Thursday Night Football features two teams that got ass clapped by positive Covid tests this past week. Here’s a video I found of Rodgers walking into practice after the Dalvin snake incident this past weekend (as you can see he looks a little tentative):

My initial thought was something like Tyler Ervin (As of now Jones is still questionable) in the captain seat for the min price and then just stacking Rodgers and Adams around him with a couple Niners on the comeback. There are a variety of ways you can go elsewhere but I think it’s Ervin or Adams in the captain seat.

Tomorrow is going to be a day where there is absolutely no limit to the amount of dick you leave on the table. I whipped up a reasonable lineup tonight that had around $10k dick on the table. It’s reasonable go double RB for SF and a rando slab of shit WR for SF. The Packers are the worst team in the NFL against the run this season and the Niners love to pound the rock.

I plan on leaving a massive amount of dick, especially since the player pool shrunk so much with all of the Covid cases.

I’ll be back on Saturday with the Week 9 preview and as always, the Cash God Guarantee.

-CashGod-