Showdown on Thursday night was rough. I had a unique lineup (thanks to $5.7k dick), but ended up missing cashing by .44. It looked like David Culley and I had the same reaction to watching Davis Mills not complete a pass to Chris Conley all fucking game:

Moving onto Sunday. There are a couple great DFS games on the slate. It seems like people are still overlooking the Seacocks and Vikings. For QBs I like Brussel again – the Vikings defense is somehow almost as bad as it was last year. I fully expect him to bring the Vikings to bone town as he usually does. This game has the second highest total, but is not picking up anywhere near the ownership that the SysTom Brady and Stafford stacks are.

I am also going balls deep on the Justin Fields play. The salary and his rushing ability are way too good to pass up. Cleveland’s secondary looks like it got its chest shit on by Odell most of the time so that’s an added bonus.

I think the only other QBs I’ll consider playing are Danny Dimes and Lamar Jackson. Atlanta and Detroit might be two of the worst defenses ever and I feel like I’m saying that every week of every year. Last thing before moving to RB: Holy shit add Matt Ryan to the wrinkled penis arm list – he is absolutely cooked.

At running back I’ll try to keep the pool fairly small. I will first address CEH. I am clicking the exclude button. He is horse ass.

A couple running back plays I like are Chase Edmonds against a complete dog shit Jags defense in a good game script, Saquon Barkley against Atlanta for reasons mentioned above, Ty’Son Williams in lineups without Lamar against Detroit, and some Leonard Fourskin/Austin Ekeler for leverage off of two chalk guzzling pass game stacks.

At WR I already mentioned Brussell above, so it’s important for me to pick the right Seattle WR this week. I’ll go into which Seattle WR I like most a little further down. Thielen, Jefferson and Osborn are easy comeback opportunities. I’ll have mostly Jefferson.

I’ll probably play Fields mostly naked or stacked with Allen Robinson, but it’s also tough to find a comeback in that game. Landry is out but it’s Shit Chest’s first game back so I’m not sure I’ll trust him too much. I could just fire one of those fucking tight ends like hooper as a comeback. He’s cheap enough to meet the criteria.

Another game stack I really like and will have in every non-Barkley lineup is the Danny Dimes to Shepherd and Golladay with Calvin Ridley on the comeback. Golladay bonus squeaky wheel narrative for yelling at The Clapper. I have no idea how he is still an NFL coach he is so fucking bad.

A couple one-off plays I like outside of that main stack are Keenan Allen and Mike Williams vs. a Chiefs defense that has been awful, potentially some Courtland Suckon, and Peoples-Jones even though he has been absolute ass shit, but at 3k with Landry out I think it’s worth a dart or two.

At TE I’ll just keep it simple and to my criteria. I am playing the scrubs every week. Hooper and Gronklin are going to be the main two for this week. I could see Gerald Everett sneaking into a few of those Seacocks stacks.

At defense I will, again, keep it as low as possible salary-wise. Ones I like are Tennessee vs a backup QB (likely), Bengals vs a penis arm dead pec Big Ben, and maybe some Washington vs Josh Allen.

It’s time for the CGG. It’s Tyler Lockettin. I have seen enough of Breeland playing corner to know that he is going to get fucking blasted. You may ask “Cash God, how can you call this the guarantee it feels like you’re just chasing points?” We can revisit this on Sunday Night when he nearly sets the receiving yards record in a game with a sub 10 ownership percentage and I need to replace my desk that went through the ceiling as a result of my erection.

I’ll be back on Monday for a recap and a quick look at the two showdowns for week 4.