Showdowns were an absolute dumpster fire this week. The connection to my bank account is running hot to start this season.

I’ll get right into the plays. I need this week bad.

I’m going to mainly build my stacks around Brussell, Murray, Cousins, and Dick Hurts with some Briskett sprinkled in there (5.1k revenge game vs Indy).

Brussels and the Seacocks seem to be overlooked on a weekly basis and their defense is so fucking bad that you can just keep firing them up. Murray is just a great play in a game that should be pretty dicks out. Crusty SysTom threw for over 400 yards on the Rams so I have no concerns about Murray.

At this point I think everyone has heard that CB Greg Newsome is out against MN and Greedy fucking Williams is making his first start since 2019. I think that should tell you all you need to know about Kirk and the Vikings passing game.

Briskett is just a cheap play in a revenge game situation that I will have 1 or 2 lineups with. I don’t really advise playing him heavily, but he has thrown the ball 40 and 49 times over the past two weeks so they’re really letting him beat the meat.

Clearly I’m an extreme donkey when it comes to RB. Last week I’m sitting on the john on Sunday morning scrolling through the ownership percentages and think I’m finding the steal of the day with Ty’Son Williams at sub 5% only to see 15 fucking percent when the slate locks. That wasn’t even close to the worst part about that play. He had 5 carries one 29 snaps against Detroit- What the fuck?

That leads into the Frankenstein Montgomery play this week because the Lions are dog shit. I don’t see a scenario where he doesn’t shit in their mouths all game, especially if Fields ends up playing again. Here’s Montgomery celebrating his second TD of the afternoon on the NFL’s cinematic camera:

As I’m going through the plays here Kamara stands out as a potential pivot from dick dragger Derrick. A home game vs the Giants is just what the doctor ordered for a Kamara explosion game.

A couple other plays at RB I like are Chase Edmonds (Dicks out game setup), Jonathan Taylor(a game that is projected to be close against a run funnel defense), Zeke (good leverage off the passing stacks in that game), and and Chub Hubbard.

At WR it is looking like the most common stacks are LA, Dallas, and DJ Moore. DJ Moore is an easy complete fade for me. I’ll probably regret saying that., but Trevon Diggs has been lock down this year and I don’t expect that to change. A little less hype seems to be surrounding Dallas pass catchers compared to LA. Lamb at 6.7k is a great play but I am not going to be too heavy on that game.

A couple other plays I like at WR are Hopkins (I’m not exactly sure what’s wrong, but at some point he’s going to bring out the snake again), Metcalf/Lockett with Deebo on the comeback , Jefferson, Robby Anderson (I’m getting the sense that this is where I’ll get tilted on ownership % when the slate locks), Shit Chest, and maybe some Peoples-Jones for a dart.

I don’t have much to say about TE this week. It looks like it is Will Dissly lock button week. I could be convinced to play a few Cole Kmet lineups, but there’s just no chance I’m paying up for a fucking TE.

It looks like Detroit defense will be popular this week, which is probably right, but I also like Atlanta, Arizona and Seattle. These games are projected to have a lot of scoring (not Atlanta they are fucking terrible), so there should be a lot of throwing and more opportunities for turnovers and sacks.

It’s time for the CGG. The CGG this week is Devonta Smith. He and Dick Hurts have yet to connect on a bomb, but it’s coming this week. They project to be down and throwing all game. I’m a little worried about the structural integrity of my apartment for when Devonta catches his second touchdown on a 65 yard bomb and the pent up erection from last week’s Lockett dud is let loose.

I’ll be back on Monday with a recap and a look at the showdowns.