I’m in Washington tilting my face off that I can’t enter DFS contests. Luckily I had already reserved a few before I left so I can edit those. The Cash God will not be denied.
We have reached the point in the season that the information just flows through me and I become one with the slate. I’ll get right into the plays for this week.
I am keeping QBs to three this week. Trey Lance is getting his first start and I expect him to blast off immediately – the game environment is great and he has massive dicks out upside. I can’t believe they stuck with pornstar Jimmy this long, but it’s finally time (via injury) to see Lance bend some bitches over a barrel in Arizona.
The second QB I’ll be heavy on is Trevor Lawrence. The Titans defense (and team) is so fucking bad and this is one of the few games that looks like it’ll be high scoring. Throw in the Urban Meyer grind narrative and we have a GPP winning stack built.
The third QB is Joe Burrow. The Packers seem to be banged up on defense (Jaire is out, etc) and Burrow has been uncoiling his dick a little bit more as the weeks progress. They were working him back slowly in the first few games but now it’s time to fully bring it out.
At running back I plan on guzzling Uncle Len and Dick Dragger Henry chalk. Nothing wrong with that.
I’ve been seeing a lot of bad stats about Dick Chubb, i.e. his red zone usage vs. Kareem Hunt is more of an even split than we’d like, but I’ll be sprinkling some Dick throughout my lineups this week. The Chargers are a run funnel and it’s about time for Chubb to explode.
A couple other plays at running back are Zeke, Barkley, and James Robinson.
At WR it looks like it is an Adams chalk week. I will be mostly fading him. I can’t play a 30% WR in a GPP and I’ll expand on that a little later. It also looks like everyone is going back to the CeeDeez Nutz well, but I’ll mostly pass on that. Cowboys-Giants is going to be the Zeke show.
A couple WR plays I like this week are Jamar Chase (great game environment and no Jaire = absolutely dicks out), Shenault + Marvin Jones stack with Lawrence (dick dragger Henry on the comeback – it’s one of THOSE games), Jaylen Waddle against a blasted Bucs secondary in a game where they will be slinging the rock all game, and Deebo/Aiyuk in the Lance stacks. Richard Sherman looked like complete ass and Mac Jones shredded them.
One thing I will note is that it looks like Thielen and Jefferson are going to be severely underowned in a very good situation – so I’ll be slipping them into a few.
At TE I think we all know the drill at this point. It’s Seal week. If you don’t know who that is I’m sorry I can’t help you. Play Waller if you like watching a $7.3k player suck his own dick for 60 min. I don’t have much more to add here. Lock in the Seal and move on. You could maybe throw in a little Fork Daddy if you want to diversify a bit, but it’s fucking Seal week.
I don’t normally write up much about defense, but I think there is one worth mentioning at length and it’s the Vikings. The reasons behind this are simple and exactly what you look for when choosing a defense:
- Big favorite so the Lions will be passing all game
- Nice point total
- Lions O line is absolutely fucked
- Jared Goff
- Should be avoiding some chalk
Other defenses I like are Jags (Urban grind narrative), Cowboys, Cardinals and Chargers.
It’s time for the CGG. This week it is Aaron Jones. This is the absolute perfect tournament play. Look no further than week 2 vs Detroit for a similar setup (maybe not quite so heavy favorites this time, but still good). It provides LEEEEEEEVERAGE off of the chalkiest WR on the slate with similar upside at a lower price. There’s a warrant out for my arrest for helicopter dicking off the balcony last weekend and I am not looking forward to paying for new windows if the TV is sent through like a Randy Johnson fastball from my uncontrollable erection, but if it happens so be it.
I’ll be back with a recap next week.
The Cash God 