I’m about to deposit for the 5th straight day. These NBA slates have left a dick-shaped imprint on my forehead. When I say I need this NFL slate to go well I really mean it.

At QB this week I’ll mostly be on Dick Hurts, Derek Carr (Hate the sin, love the man), Rodgers, and Tanne. Dick Hurts’ price is still too low and I think this game might sneak by a few people, which is why I also like Carr- It’s the third highest total on the slate. I really want to bite on the Stafford narrative but Detroit is just too bad I think they’re going to be pounding their asses too hard for a ceiling game from him. I’ll talk a bit more about the GB-WSH game later, but Rodgers is another great GPP play against the pass funnel WFT defense.

At running back I’m seeing Derrick “King Dick Dragger” Henry projected at 16% ownership. I’m not sure I really believe that number, but I’d play him at that %, even at his price tag. A few other plays at running back that I like are Aaron Jones, McKissdick, Damien Harris, Hubbard, and Josh Jacobs. Josh Jacobs is one of the best RB plays on the slate. The Eagles have been struggling against the run and they fucking love to pound him. He also is a great potential pivot off of more popular Henderson and Chubby Hubbard. I’m not sure why Damien Harris isn’t gaining any steam, but I’ll be balls deep in an awesome spot against the dogshitter Jets. One last thing I will mention before WR- and I hate to even say it- but James Connor might get sprinkled in this week. He’s kinda bad, but Houston is worse and Arizona will probably attach him to the football once they are up 40.

At WR I’ll likely stick to game stacks around the QBs. I got ass blasted by Davante Adams last week and feel like a complete fish for playing him at all, but I’m going back to the well in a better matchup against a fucking terrible pass defense. A stack I like is Dick Hurts to Devonta Smith with Ruggs on the comeback. Both of those WR are perfect for tournaments and can turn a game into a shootout very quickly.

AJ Brown cannot stop shitting. There’s a reason I’ve retired permanently from Chipotle and he is experiencing it in full force. I actually heard that it got so bad one day that Odell just could not resist giving him a call in hopes of meeting up. Having said that, I’ll be playing both Brown and Julio in the Tanne stacks.

A few other WR I like on this slate are Tyreek, Marquise Brown, Robert Woods, and Robby Anderson (The squeaky wheel is just about permanent at this point).

I joke a lot about paying up at TE, and I think it’s usually fucking terrible, but this week I can get on board with Waller. I’ll have a lot of Dick Hurts and Carr so this is an easy bring back/game stack opportunity. Otherwise I’m going back to the well on The Seal. The other TE I’m considering this week is Tonyan in my Rodgers stacks. The Seal slapping ass again:

Holy shit Arizona defense is going to be popular. I’ll be avoiding them as much as possible. Again, I’ve been absolute ass shit at defense this year, but you have to fade the chalk defense whenever possible. I like the Ravens, the Falcons (Miami is playing a game without a bye after their London game -what the fuck NFL?), and Patriots defense.

It’s time for the CGG. This week it is scary fucking Terry “F1” McLaurin. I like this game in general and the Packers are banged up on defense with Alexander still on IR. One of my favorite stacks of the week is Rodgers, Adams with McLaurin on the comeback. He’s projected to be under 4% owned. Coincidently, my dick is projected to be shooting through the fucking window at the speed of sound somewhere around the 10 minute mark of the 4th quarter when he scores his 3rd TD of the day.

I’ll be back next week. Thanks.

-CashGod-