Yes, I am getting blasted by variance. There is almost nothing worse than opening the DK app and having the fucking “Winner!” popup show up only to see that you took a 50% loss on the day. Going heavy on Mike Williams and the CGG of McLaurin was enough to dust my sorry ass. The process is there, it has to be variance. It has to be.
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I’d like to say that I’m thankful that the wrinkled fucking ballsack arm of SysTom Brady is not on the main slate this week. I can’t get it right. I play him and he’s dog shit, I fade him and he’s in the optimal.
At QB there are very few interesting options this week. The game with the most attention is clearly KC-DAL, but Buffalo has the second highest team total on the slate so Josh Allen is certainly on the menu. Both of the QBs in the KC-DAL game are obviously good plays, but you’ll run into popular stacks that way. The only other QB I really like this week is Joe Burrow. Hate the sin, love the man narrative has worn off of the Raiders and Burrow is going to ass blast them in what could turn into a bit of a shootout.
At RB will start out by saying that my favorite fade is Mark Ingram. He somehow played nearly all the snaps last week, but there’s just no fucking way he does anything remotely similar to that again this week, even at only $5.4k. Here’s a look at a video of Philly D vs. Ingram:
At one point this preseason, Cam Newton was described by another player as the “Checkdown King”. CMC is still a bit underpriced and got 10 fucking targets last week along with 13 carries. Washington D was already terrible this year and now Chase Young is out for the season – the path is clear here.
A few other RBs I like this week are Jeff Wilson (Good move off of some of the low $6k chalk guzzlers in a great spot vs the Jags), Michael Carter (Despite Flac-daddy starting), Darrell Williams, Joe Mixon (we all saw what Darrell Williams did to the Raiders last week), and Zeke (Great leeeeeeeverage in the highest total game on the slate).
At WR it’s tough to get away from Adams. He has a long history of dad dicking the Vikings and will likely do the same this week no matter who covers him. I’m Diggs out this week. He is one of my favorite plays on the slate and looks to be lower owned. A few other WR I like this week are Tyreek, Brandin Cooks (He feasts on ass defenses and they’ll be throwing a lot), Thielen (Home state rival narrative), Brandon Aiyuk (This feels like a diamond in the rough), and CeeDeez Nuts.
At TE it pains me to even say it, but Waller is firmly in play as a result of the Burrow stacks I will have. Otherwise, Uzomah is almost a lock for the rest of the lineups. I don’t see any other TEs worth playing this week, except maybe Cole Kmet. I’ve watched Kelce suck his own cock one too many times this year and I can assure you I won’t be doing it again this week.
It appears that everyone is on the Browns defense train. I will have 0 Browns defense. My search for a pivot landed on the Bills. That is a home matchup against Carson Wentz dot dot dot. The Bills are projected to be ahead in this game which will hopefully force Wentz into sacks, picks, etc. A few of the other defenses I like are the Saints and Kansas City.
It’s time for the CGG. It’s Dalvin Cook. Let the chef cook. The Packers defense has struggled against the run and Cook is on the verge of an eruption, as scientists say. This is the week I get back on track with the CGG. For the sake of the pressure mounting in my dick I hope that is the case. Here’s a video of me once Dalvin scores his 3rd and hits the rushing boner at the same time:
I’ll be back next week.
-CashGod-
The Cash God 