I got shit on again last week. Draftkings can’t keep getting away with it. Webby was just not good enough as the CGG and I somehow stumbled upon JJ Spaun at the last minute only to watch him become completely useless on the course. This week’s preview is a little late as I am processing the Cockrack rumors. I’ve heard whisperings that he is going to join the Saudi Golf League. If that happens I may need to retire since most of these articles rely on Cockrack references. Cockrack puts the nail in the coffin of my PGA career. That won’t stop me from muttering “Cockrack” under my breath during my backswing at the local course in honor though.
I’ll get right into the plays this week. The setup will be slightly different because of this fucking team format. I’ll be choosing 5 teams (one from each price range).
The defending champs Cam Smith and Marc Leishman are being projected at a lower ownership than I would have expected. Cam was dogshit last week at RBC after imploding a bit at the Masters. I expect him to let his dick creep out of his pants once again this week and get back on track. He still has 3 top 5 finishes in his last 5 events. Leishman is kind of just along for the ride in this duo. He’s been good enough lately with 4/5 made cuts. They are my pick in the $10k range despite an extremely strong team of Cantlay/Hovland.
There is no chance I’m betting against Scottie Scheffler again. He could have been playing with Arnold fucking Palmer this week and I still would have picked his team. Luckily, his teammate is Arnold Palmer’s son, Ryan Palmer. Ryan Palm-Dick had this quote: “Word out there is that I’m chasing ringers”. Let’s just say this guy knows how to pick teammates. He’s played with Jordan Spieth twice then finished 7th and 1st with Rahm the past two years. If he doesn’t take a shit down his own throat they win this easily.
I would like to pick the Jizzer’s team in the $8k range, but it’s time for the Power Hour. The Seamus Power and Graeme McDowell team is my pick. They will be low-owned and Power Hour fucking slaps this event (2 top 10 finishes in two tournaments). He must have the Tom Brady quality of willing his teammates to greater heights and he will need to do that with McDowell this year, maybe more than ever. McDowell has been complete ass shit lately. His last good round was at the Arnold Palmer Invitational at the beginning of March, where he finished T13. Power Hour can carry him as long as he isn’t a complete sack of shit the entire time. Power Hour looking for McDowell at the turn on Saturday:
In the $7k range, it’s time to bust out your sickles. My pick here is the team of Doug Ghim Reaper and Matthias Charles Schwab. Ghim Reaper finished 11th in this event last year and will be the only one of the two to have any experience in this tournament. They are both coming off of made cuts at RBC and Schwab has a top 10 finish this month at the Valero Texas Open. Here’s Doug waiting beside the green ready to cut Schwab’s fucking dick off when he misses his first putt:
My pick in the $6k range was a fairly easy one. It’s the team of Richy Weinereski and Peter Uihlein. I’ve liked these two all year and now they are together on one team. They are coming off of a third-place finish last year at this event. Uihlein has made 5 straight cuts (including a 2nd place finish) in his last 5 tournaments this year. They are by far the best team in the $6ks.
I’ll be back next week.
-CashGod-
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The Cash God 