Power hour was dragged down by the sack of shit that is McDowell. Between that duo and the Weinereski-Uihlein combo missing the cut I had no chance at cashing. I tried to chase the losses with a few NBA slates and put together one of the worst lineups in the entire field. I ended up with the bots that don’t fill out their lineups before lock. Kyrie can gurgle on one.
It’s time for this week’s plays.
Rahm is a complete lock this week. After taking one look at the field I’ve concluded that this is way worse than Rory vs. the field at the Valero Texas Open. I will take this time to remind us all that Rory stretched his fucking sack up into his open mouth and missed the cut that week. The week that I thought he was a top 10 lock. We’ll be guzzling chalk with Rahm, but he is so much better than the rest of the field it would be, once again, an embarrassment to the sport of golf if he doesn’t finish in the top 5 or win.
The first play in the $9k range is Sebastian Munoz. He is a cut-making machine with 5 straight, including 4 top 30 finishes. He will provide some ownership leverage off of Woodcock and is a stronger play overall. Woodcock can finish last any given week, similar to me in the Draftkings Lobbies. Sebass is ready to fucking fish-slap this week.
The other golfer I like here is Chris Kirk. He has not played his best golf in 2 of his last 3 events (MC at The Players and RBC Heritage), but if there is a field in which he can regain his form it’s this one. He has back-to-back top 10 finishes this year and is ready to uncoil it again this week. Kirk once it finally peeks out again:
In the $8k range, I did not have to look further than the Ghim Reaper. I’m shocked Charles Schwab evaded a sickle to the fucking sack this past week, because he played like shit. Ghim is playing well enough with a T6 at The Players a month ago and T35 at RBC Heritage a few weeks ago. If he didn’t have the sack of shit dragging beside him last week he might have won the Zurich Open. Here’s a video of Ghim heading to Schwab’s house:
My two favorite plays in the $7k range are Adam Long and Pat Perez.
Perez is going to be almost unowned at around 3%. He doesn’t have any high finishes but has made 4/5 cuts and is great value at $7.5k in this weak field.
Long lives up to his name and sometimes has his swing disturbed by his python grazing his leg on his backswing. I tend to have that issue as well and I will say that it throws off my timing a bit and can cause some slicing. Long is coming off of a 12th place finish at RBC Heritage and has 4 made cuts in his last 5 events, including one at The Players. He is easily one of the best plays in the $7k range and in the field. Here’s a video of Long in the clubhouse trying to tape his dick to his leg before the round begins:
There are a few names I like in the $6k range. I’ll start with Kiradech Aphibarnrat. He’s made 3 straight cuts, including one at Valspar. He has a great chance of making this cut in a worse field. I saw a quote that he plays golf so that he can keep buying Yeezy’s and Ferarris. At $6.9k you can’t ask for too much more.
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The other names I like in this range are Robert Garrigus and Aaron Baddeley. Garrigus was suspended for smoking weed in the portable toilets. How can you not play this guy? He’s made 5 straight cuts (although mostly shit fields/events).
Aaron Baddeley has played well lately outside of one bad round in mid-March. He will be less than 2% owned, but has a good chance of making the cut in this ass field. He’s coming off 2 straight made cuts and an 18th place finish at TPC San Antonio. Here’s a video I found of his March round that he’s since recovered from:
It’s time for the CGG. It’s Kevin Na. I’m having a hard time clicking on Gary Woodcock at 20% ownership if I’m also playing nearly 100% Rahm. Na had some Saudi Tour rumors swirling a few weeks ago so bake that into the narrative here. He’s coming off of a T26 at RBC Heritage and a T14 at the Masters. You’ll be able to get him at under 10% owned, which will be good leverage off of Woodcock. I am so fucking overdue. This is the week I finally get it right.
I’ll be back next week.
-CashGod-
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The Cash God 