I thought I was in a great spot heading into the weekend with double the field on 6/6s in my tournament. I thought wrong. Cockrack became a sack of shit and Scheffler blew the lead. I had 100% Cockrack thinking he’d contend for the win but he could not overcome the brick that came out of his ass on Saturday morning. I didn’t leave completely empty handed but close to it.

I can’t even make some of these names up. David Winkle had the following to say about Uncle Dust joining the Saudi Golf tour. At least we don’t have to consider playing him anymore.

One other note is that we may have seen the last of Mr. Gooch as he is also chasing the money in the Saudi Golf tour. Somehow Cockrack was not in the field, almost nothing tilts me more than Gooch not playing in PGA events.

It’s time for the plays.

The first play I like in the $10k+ range is Collin Morikawa. I’m not going to excuse his play the past two weeks. He limped into the weekend at the PGA Championship like an unusable dick at the end of a 5-10 whack day. He finished second at this tournament last year and people seem to be forgetting that he finished 5th at the Masters last month. He’s a great play that is being overlooked(less than 10% ownership projection).

I’m all in on Papa Jon Rahm this week. He played like ass shit last time we saw him on the course at the PGA Championship and has looked similar to my wrinkled sack in his other recent outings (outside of a win in Mexico in the worst field I’ve seen all year). Having said all of that he is in the best bounce back spot you could ask for. He was absolutely dick dusting this tournament last year but got forcibly removed-like a rib-after testing positive for COVID and won it in 2020.

It’s going to take every fiber in my body to not play Shane the fucking brain Lowry this week. The tournament is being played in Dublin, Ohio so you’d assume he sees the city name and has his homeland of Ireland in mind. Shane the brain has been on a fucking tear, but I can’t bring myself to eat the chalk this week.

The first play I like in this $9k range is Hideki Matsuyama. He had one horrific tournament in 2020 at Memorial, but has 4 other made cuts (T6 in 2019 and T13 in 2018) at this event and a T14 at the Masters last month. It looks like he has finally put his neck tweaks behind him. This is the week we can retire the name Hurtnecki. It’s time for him to become Bigdicki and win this tournament.

The other play I like here is Matt Fitzmagic. He has been lurking around victory in almost every one of his recent events with 4 top 20s in his past 5 (2 top 5s). He gurgled a brick of shit last year at this event but finished 3rd in 2020. He is a great pivot off of chalky Shane. Constant live shot of me watching this magician at work on Sunday:

My favorite play in the $8k range is Sungjae Im. He’s missed the cut at this tournament in his last two attempts, which will lower his ownership to about half of what Lowry is projected. I always hear chatter about him being inconsistent, but lately he has been as consistent as a morning whack (usually every day), making 5 straight cuts, including a T8 at the Masters. I like him as another pivot off of 20%+ Shane the brain Lowry.

I’m ready to eat my own sack. I’m jumping on the Davis Riley train. He’s one of the hottest golfers on tour right now with 4 top 10 finishes in his last 5 events. I cannot fade him any longer. If it fucks me it fucks me. He’s never played on this course before but playing him should allow you to dodge the Cam Young and Homa chalk. Here’s me jumping aboard and driving the Riley train:

I guess Adam Scott likes playing at this course. He has 4 straight made cuts, including a second-place finish in 2019. The only concern is that it looked like he tried a new stretching exercise last week, seemingly out of nowhere. He sat on the ground and stretched his head down and began to suck his own dick on live TV. Despite him missing the cut last week he has played relatively well this year with a T48 at the Masters and a T32 at AT&T Byron Nelson earlier this month. He’s one of my favorite plays in the $7k range and will be very low owned.

The other play I like in this range is Aaron Wise. He’s coming off of a T23 at the PGA Championship and is playing some of his best golf of the year. He has made 6 cuts in his last 7 events, including a T6 finish in Mexico. He is one of the best plays in the $7k range in a tournament that he finished T9 at in 2021. I found this video of Wise standing over Cam Smith when he finally gets his revenge on Smith for hitting him in the head with the ball:

In the $6k range, it’s time to go back to the fucking well. It’s time for Pistol Pat Perez once again. His career has been so long so it’s tough to say whether this is some of the best golf of his career but he’s been playing well. He has 4 straight made cuts including a T12 last week in a tough Charles Schwab Challenge field. He’s made the cut in his last 3 attempts at Memorial and has a T19 back in 2017. He’s going to be almost unowned and is a great value play.

The other play is Brendan Steele Pole. He feels a bit out of place in the $6ks. He’s made 6 straight cuts with a T9 at the PGA Championship last week, a T5 at the Zurich Classic last month, and a T13 at THE PLAYERS in March. If that sentence doesn’t also give you a Steele pole see a doctor for ED. He’s also made the cut at this event 4 times in a row and has a 13th place finish in 2020. Either my personal steele pole is blocking something here or this might be the best play in the entire field.

It’s time for the CGG. This week it’s Patrick Cantplay. Talk about a guy that fucking dominates a course. He’s finished in the top 5 in 3 of the past 5 years, with two of those being wins. He played one of the worst tournaments I’ve seen in my life at the PGA Championship last week so it will have to be a bit of a bounce-back but there is no better place for him. I’ve been complete dogshit on a lot of these Cash God Guarantees, but this is finally the week where my wall gets a penis shape dart rocket through it.

I’ll be back next week.

-CashGod-

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Featured image from Richard Heathcote/Getty Images.