This past week ended early for me. This time it wasn’t paint on the club it was “wrist soreness”. It might go without saying what that is from but I was hearing Bigdicki almost broke the record for times whacking it in a single day. That’ll leave anyone’s wrist fucked up so I completely understand. I once had it so bad I couldn’t use a mouse or keyboard for 3 weeks. One other thing about Bigdicki that I stumbled upon is that he was offered $400 million to join LIV. If that is somehow true I don’t know how he doesn’t accept.

It’s time for the plays.

The top play on in the highest price range is clear to me. It’s Will the fucking Thrill. There isn’t much guarantee of what you’re going to get in a non-major from him, but he still has multiple top 10s this year at random events – a T6 at the American Express (Pete MF Dye course), a 2nd place finish at the Farmers Insurance Open, a T4 at the Zurich Classic, and a T5 at the Memorial Tournament. He’s projected to be the lowest owned of the $10k golfers. This is an easier click than the fappening leaks. Believe it or not Zalatoris was the caddy in Happy Gilmore:

I didn’t think I’d see the day that Kevin Kisner is $9.1k but here we are. I thought about him for a few moments based on his course history alone, but the best play in the $9k range is the Maverick. McNealy has made 4 straight cuts (2 top 10s) and is projected at around 16% ownership. He already has a top 10 at this event in 2020 and finished T21 last year. I don’t see a better play in the $9ks, especially not Max fucking Homa – the chalk donkey of the week.

The next play I like is Cameron Triangle. Yes, he did gurgle his own fucking cock last week at the 3M Open. I’m going to ignore that and look at the last 3 years of him fucking dick dusting this event. He has a T14, a T30 and a T5. At that point I think there is correlation. It looks like he will be a bit underowned as well so that’s just a bonus when he finishes top 10 and the rocket from Rocket Mortgage comes out of my pants.

I’m deep in the well this week. The next name I like is Joohyung Kim. He’s only missed 1 cut (his first career major at the PGA Championship) and already has a top 5 finish at the Genesis Scottish Open this year. He’s playing extremely well and will be under-owned relative to his price ($7.6k) and absolute dick slapping ability.

This next one is a name I played a few times earlier in the year and am ready to go back to the fucking well on. It’s Taylor Pendick. Pendrith is playing some of his best golf right now with 5 straight made cuts, including a T11 and 2 T13s in his last 3. He did miss a few months with a “rib fracture” I think we all know what that means. The guy was just trying to get his rib removed so he could suck his own dick. He’s seemingly back into form and I’m ready to go balls deep.

The $6k range is complete dogshit as usual. One name I do like is Hayden Buckley. The Buckler. He’s never played at this event, but has made 5 straight cuts including somehow finishing T14 at the U.S. Open in early June. He will be nearly unowned (<5%). This is my favorite play in this ass tier.

This last name is one I have never played before. Lee fucking Hodges. The only way I can describe this guy is the python commander. He’s made 5 of his last 6 cuts and finished T16 last week at the 3M open. Similar to the Buckler we don’t have to worry about ownership. This is a great value play from the shit bin. My reaction when I see Lee in the top 15 on Sunday afternoon:

It’s time for the Cash God Guarantee. Get in the car. We are driving to fucking Denny’s for the grand slam breakfast. Denny McCarthy is by far my favorite play in the $8k range. He’s a cut making machine, but also has 3 top 10s in his last 4 events. I don’t see a way to not play him this week, especially at one of the lower projected ownerships (10%) of the $8k-$10k prices. I’m gurgling down a grand slam breakfast each day of the weekend in honor of McCarthy.

I’ll be back next week.

-CashGod-

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