The PGA is back and holy shit this has to be one of the worst fields I’ve ever seen. When Taylor Pendrith is the 6th highest priced guy it’s clear what type of field we are working with. It’s extremely difficult to get your dick hard for anything like this, but there are GPPs to win and we don’t take weeks off.
I’ll get right into the plays.
No need to exclude Rory because he’s playing in the Italian Open instead. Thanks.
I don’t see why you’d play anyone other than Bigdicki or maybe Homa in the $10k+ price range. Bigdicki WD a few with a hurt wrist or whatever the fuck he had, but he finished the season strong with a T11 at the Tour Championship. He’s played here twice in the last 5 years. One of those times he gurgled his own dick, but last year he finished 6th overall. I’ll be playing him this week, expecting a repeat of last year or better.
Things already start to drop off in the $9ks. These guys are almost all fucking terrible. I’ll likely play Bigdicki and then go heavier in the $7-8ks. No reason to pay up for marginally better golfers.
The only golfer I can stomach playing is Cameron Davis. His ownership won’t be out of control and he is seemingly by far the best play in this price range. He closed the season strong with 10 straight made cuts including 3 top 10s and 3 top 20s. His results at this event haven’t been great, but he’s coming into this year in much better form. Davis’ response to a fan asking him if the foot-long snake dragging between his legs is an issue in daily life:
My favorite play in the $8k range is Thomas Detry. I looked at Webb Simpson for about a minute only to realize the guy is completely fucked. The nail in the coffin was when he withdrew from the course that he named his daughter after.
Detry has never played in this event and had a limited amount of PGA action last year, but when he did play he left his mushroom stamp on each green he set foot on (T22, T22, T15, T10, and T34 at the Open). I’ll be playing Detry big time.
The other play I like here is Troy Merritt. In previous years at this event, he has either gurgled his own ball sack or finished well. In the past 4 years, he has a T16, a T86, a T106 (what the fuck), and a T4. He finished out the PGA season strong last year with 5 straight made cuts and a T14 at the Rocket Mortgage Classic in late July. He’s a great play in a shit field like we have this week. Merrit in the years he missed the cut:
If you want to look at a guy who dick slaps a course look no further than Chez Reavie. He’s finished no worse than 33rd over the past 5 attempts at this tournament and has a 3rd place finish in 2020. He also finished this past season strong with 5 straight made cuts, including a win at the Barracuda Championship in early July. He’s one of the best plays $7k range and should be low-owned.
One of the best plays on the entire slate is Patrick Rodgers. This is a direct pivot off of a chalkier Mark Hubbard who is the same price at $7.3k. Rodgers is 5/5 on cuts at this event and finished T6 in 2021. He was complete dogshit to start the year at this time last year but rounded into form towards the end making 10 of his last 13 cuts (including a T31 at the U.S. Open). He is great value and should provide leverage off of Hubbard. Sitting on my couch on Sunday checking Rodgers’ score:
I thought we were going to have to whip some random names out of a hat in the $6k range, but we can just play the fucking hits. The first name I like here is Matthias “Charles” Schwab. I don’t know what the fuck happened to him, but he’s been completely horse ass for around 3 months. Having said that, this field is horrific and his price is so low that the value is there once again. He’s missed the cut 4 of his last 5 tournaments, but he’s had a month off to ponder his failures and will come out hot.
The other play I like in the $6ks is one of my all-time favorites. Patton “The Jizzer” Kizzire. Similar to Schwab, he’s been complete shit lately, but his price is also at a point where he’s become good value. He finished 28th at this event last year and should play well again this year. Any spectator in the vicinity of the Jizzer after he drains a long birdie on 18 on Sunday:
The Cash God Guarantee was a simple one for me this week. It’s Steele fucking Pole time. He’s made his last 5 cuts at this tournament including a win. He had a great season that included making 10 of his last 12 cuts (3 top 10s). There is just no scenario in which he won’t unzip his pants and lay his dick on the table this weekend. I’ll be doing the exact same.
I’ll be back next week.
-CashGod-
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