What the fuck is Sanderson Farms? I will need a full jar of Viagra for this one because this is one of the worst tournaments/fields you’ll ever see. I’m coming off of a good week in PGA despite how bad the Draftkings contests were for the Presidents Cup. I gurgled chalk like there was no tomorrow with a Spieth captain lineup that also included Justin Thomas. At least we are back to a normal, non-captain, format this week.
It’s time for the plays.
Simply put, The Postman ($10.2k) has had his cock out for the past 2 months. I’m not a big fan of playing him at over $10k, but the options are fucking horrific this week and he will be the lowest owned by far. I refuse to play a 25%+ owned Sam Burns. This is another week where it will likely be best to play more of the lower-priced golfers since these guys are all ass. The Postman finished last season with 5 straight made cuts, including 4 top 25s. He missed the cut at this event last year, but finished T3 and T11 the previous two years so I expect him to be able to bounce back.
Taylor Montgomery ($9.6k) has played in some absolute donkey dick events. He only played 2 PGA events in 2021-22 but finished 3rd two weeks ago in the Fortinet Championship to start this season. The field this week is somehow worse than that event. He’s playing extremely well right now (T2, T3, T4, and T9 in his last 4 tournaments-Porn Ferry Tour) so we might end up eating some chalk, but he’s one of the best plays in this range. Montgomery eagerly awaiting his turn on the first tee:
Another golfer I like is Thomas Detry ($8.8k). I’m going back to the fucking well after playing him in the Fortinet Championship, where he finished T12. I said it last time and I’ll say it again. He is absolutely cock slapping these tournaments (before his T12 last week – T22, T22, T15, T10, and T34 at the Open) in his PGA tournaments last year. The only concern with him is that he hasn’t played in this tournament before, but with how bad this field is that should not be a factor in any way. I’m playing Detry once again this week.
A golfer I like to bounce back after he lifted his sack into his own mouth is Trey Mullinax ($8.3k). He somehow missed the cut in a complete horse-ass field two weeks ago at the Fortinet Championship but is in a good spot to rebound at low ownership this week in an even worse field. Before the missed cut he finished the season strong with a win, a T21, T37, T5, and a T12. A look at Mullinax at the Fortinet Championship:
Kevin Streelman ($7.4k) is a certified geezer. He had a fairly rough ending to his season last year with 2 straight missed cuts and began this season with a T59. I don’t know if there is anything less inspiring than playing Streelman this week, but he has a history of unsheathing the python at this event so what must be done, must be done. He has 2 top 10s in the past 5 years here and a T31 last year. He is one of the better values in the field, I’ll be playing him.
Line up the shot glasses. It’s time for some fucking Jaegerbombs ($7.2k). At one point last season, Jaeger was almost a sure missed cut. He was so fucking bad. But then, most likely due to a change in morning fap routine, he found his stride and finished the year with 4 of 5 made cuts (including a 5th place finish and a T13). He shouldn’t have much ownership and is one of the best plays in the $7k range after finishing 26th at this event last year.
It’s time for the garbage bin $6k range. It’s worse than ever this week. It was really tough to pick anyone, but the first name I landed on was Adam Schenk. I don’t know how that name is allowed for a professional golfer. Last season was a rollercoaster with several missed cuts, but also some shockingly good results (T24 at the U.S. Open). How the fuck is that even possible after missing the cut at an event called the World Wide Technology Championship at Mayakoba?
My last play is a guy named Harry Endycock. He played 0 PGA events last season but began the current season 2 weeks ago with a T12 at the Fortinet Championship. At $6.5k this is not much more than a complete punt, but the T12 at the Fortinet Championship shows he can play effectively in these tournaments. He is my favorite dart play of the week and will likely be nearly unowned.
It’s time for the Cash God Guarantee. Get in the car, we are heading to Denny’s for a Grand Slam Breakfast. Denny McCarthy ($9.9k) absolutely dick dusts this event nearly every year. He has 2 top 10s and 2 top 20s in the last 4 years. He’s in great form coming off of a T25, T28, and T20 in his last 3 tournaments. If this isn’t the smash play of the field and great leverage off of chalk donkey Sam Burns (projected at 25%+) I don’t know what is. This is me on Sunday as Denny drills a birdie for the win:
I’ll be back next week.
-CashGod-
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