After getting almost last on Monday after the Rondale Moore injury, it became worse on Thursday. Pollard was fucking terrible and I ended up with a few too many double Bills RB. That alone should be enough to automatically deactivate my DraftKings account.

I had no faith in the Kirk stacks without Darrisaw and against a good defense after that dick dusting they experienced against Dallas last Sunday, but somehow that’s what won.

I’m onto Sunday.

There aren’t many good games on this Sunday slate, but one of the most likely shootouts is LV-SEA. Geno Smith has been uncoiling his dick on a regular basis this season and now he faces one of the worst pass defenses in the NFL. This game has the second highest total on the slate and the Seahawks have the fourth-highest team total on the slate. Derek Carr is complete dog shit but they should be able to keep pace enough for this game to be a good environment.

I don’t normally condone having anything to do with full blown donkey Bengals HC Zac Taylor, but this week I simply have no choice. The Titans are simply one of the worst pass defenses in the NFL and it’s somehow getting worse. They’ve allowed nearly 300 yards per game over their last 3, second most in the NFL. Ja’Marr Chase is a game time decision, but I’m stacking the Bengals offense regardless as they’ll be forced to pass against this dogshit defense.

Crack open a fucking Heineken. Last time I played him it was one of the worst days in DFS I’ve ever had, but it’s time to go back to the well. I say this a lot, but it’s true in this case. Atlanta is one of the worst defenses I’ve ever seen. The only concern for this game is if it becomes a slog with two terrible teams. Atlanta is bad enough for Heineken to get cooking. He is my favorite cheap QB this week. I’m gurgling down Heinekens on Sunday.

If you aren’t clicking the lock button on James Conner you’re playing for second place. The length of my erection will know no bounds when he drags 3 defenders into the endzone for his third TD of the game against the second-worst run defense in the NFL. I don’t trust the rest of this Cardinals’ offense and I expect Kliff to go to pound town. Conner has a vise-grip on this backfield that I can only compare to my morning fap routine.

It’s Gigachaad time. The other rookie running backs have all broken out, it’s Gigachaad’s turn. There is no better setup against one of the bottom rush defenses in the league. Fourskin injured his hip piping his girlfriend after a big win before their bye. He is “still sore” according to the Bucs, but either way I’d expect Gigachaad to be heavily involved. I’m playing him even if Uncle Fourskin plays.

It’s going to be tough to fade Jeff Wilson, especially if Mostert is out. The ownership is going to be obscene, but the Texans are the worst team in the league with the worst rushing defense in the NFL.

It’s sack dragging time. I’ll be playing Henry in my Burrow stacks as a comeback. The Bengals are allowing almost 60 more rushing yards per game on the road than at home. The rule is simple. You do not fade Derrick Henry in November. He will be unveiling his sack and dragging it on the field for 60 minutes on Sunday. Henry taking the field:

I’d be surprised if Chase plays, but I’ll be playing mostly combos of Burrow-Higgins-Boyd or Burrow-Higgins-Hurst. The Titans have allowed the second-most passing yards per game in the NFL and this is another low-owned stack. It’s time for another Burrow eruption.

The Heineken stack is simple. Heineken-Scary Terry–Samuel with a Drake London comeback. It is so hard to click anyone from Atlanta, but Drake London is their only option left after Pitts died. This stack kinda makes my dick go inverted, but it is the best value on the slate against a dogshit defense.

My favorite stack on the slate is Geno-Metcalf–Lockett. This game is the second-highest total on the slate and this stack doesn’t look like it has much ownership with Metcalf and Lockett both under 10% projected. This Raiders team even allowed Russ and the Broncos to throw for almost 250 yards on them last week. This is the week where Geno leaves his mushroom stamp on the field and thrusts his name back into the MVP race. This is the man we are relying on to push the pace. Derek fucking Carb.

A few other WRs I like this week:

• Tyreek/Waddler – Houston is complete dog ass and these two are going to be fed targets.
• Palmer – Mike Williams crinkled his ankle again.
• Chris Olave – This is one of my favorite one-off plays. He is a great GPP play at under 3% ownership. That game isn’t one of the best on the slate, but getting good players at low ownership is how you win.
• Treylon Burks – He is coming online and is a good comeback option for Bengals stacks.
• Greg Dortch – If Rondale is out again it’s time to fire up the blow Dortch at $3.1k.

There is almost nothing better than these cheap tight-end weeks, until Kelce puts his cock on the table and says “Look at this”.

It’s time to bring out the fucking Hurst. I will have a significant amount of Hayden Hurst in my Burrow stacks this week. A few other TE I like are:

• Evan Engram – Back to the fucking well.
• Noah Fant – Stack with Geno or solo.
• Greg Dulchich – Another punt against a dogshit team.

Defense seems a bit more difficult this week than normal. It will probably come down to what fits rather than a specific team. The defenses I like most are Carolina against Russ and Hackkjob, Tampa Bay against Brisket, Chicago against Milf Hunter/White, Arizona, and the Chargers.

Hide the cameramen. Davante Adams is the Cash God Guarantee this week. Since the flu game personal dick gurgling 4 weeks ago, he has been completely unstoppable. The Seahawks have been a bit better on defense after a horrific start to the season, but it shouldn’t matter much with the volume of target spray that he will be receiving this week. I expect this game to be the highest scoring game on the slate and will have an irresponsible amount of Adams. Here is a live shot of me getting one last beat of my meat in before locking in Adams this weekend:

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-CashGod-

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