I took the week off last week as a result of the match play setup. I don’t even want to think back on what happened in the tournament before match play. It was a fucking abysmal showing by me. Now we arrive at the final tune-up before the Masters. A field that is one of the worst we have seen so far this year. We will be absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel this week. We are just getting started in golf season though with the first major around the corner.

I’m only playing one golfer from the $10k range. This field is so fucking bad. I’m going to try to avoid chalk as much as possible this week. I can’t bring myself to click big dick Rick Fowler so I’ll be playing Corey Conners. He gurgled his own dick the last time he played, missing the cut at THE PLAYERS. He is in a great bounce-back spot at an event where he has a T35, T14, T26, and a win in the past 4. Besides Bigdicki, he will be the lowest owned in the top range and obviously has winning upside.

It’s fucking geezer time. I will guzzle a small amount of chalk and play Matt Kuchar at $9.2k. I don’t know how you fade it. He was runner-up last year, finished T12 in 2021, and T7 in 2020. Disaster struck for him at THE PLAYERS and at the Honda Classic, but like Conners, he’s set up for redemption this week. He’s missed two straight cuts but all I’m seeing is a buy-low chance. Live shot of me when Kuchar books another top 5:

We are already in the depths of the dustbin. I don’t know that I’ve ever played Matt Wallace but this is the week he comes out of the fucking garage. He’s coming off of a win at the Corales Puntacana Championship and a T7 at Valspar, but has missed a few cuts in tougher fields. Fortunately for us, this is one of the worst fields of the season so he will be right in play. At $8.5k and a projected 11% ownership, I don’t see a much better play in this range.

I’m going back to the fucking well here. It’s Patton “Jizzer” Kizzire time. Don’t let his result at this tournament last year scare you off, he’s been taking his dick out inch by inch this year and is coming off of his best result of the season at the Valspar Championship, where he finished T10. He also has a top 10 on his resume at this tournament in 2021. It’s time to paint the walls. It’s Jizzer time.

It’s also geezer time. I’ve thought about playing Kevin Streelman for weeks and the time has finally come. I will not be playing him in normal fields but this one is perfect. He has fucking dick dragged this event , finishing T18, T6, and T8 in his last 3 years at this tournament. I don’t know if you’ll find a better course history sample, especially at $7k. I’m either going to suck my own sack or this is the play of the fucking slate. I’m balls deep.

It’s time for the Cash God Guarantee. This is a new name for me. It’s Ryan Fox. At $9k, this has to be one of the highest prices he will ever be, but that is not scaring me away. He’s projected to be one of the lowest owned golfers (11%) in the top 2 ranges and is coming off an inexplicable T27 finish at THE PLAYERS in a strong field. He’s never played at this tournament, but I have no concern about that in this field. He’s ready to unleash his pants snake this week. Live look at me staring at my DK balance if this goes wrong:

I’ll be back next week.

-CashGod-

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Creator: Stuart Franklin | Credit: Getty Images