This past week was a fucking disaster. I was swimming with the bots, taking almost last. Somehow Spieth, along with 3 others in my lineup, missed the cut. I need a win in the worst way this week.
We begin the week with a tradition unlike any other. Clicking the button to exclude Rory. I haven’t had a problem excluding him all year, even when he finished T7 last week. At some point I’ll have no choice but to play him at the ownership he gets to, but that day has not come.
I’m playing Iron Man again. Morikawa gurgled his own sack in his opening round last week and could never recover. He played like shit last year at this event but was the runner up in 2021. At $9.9k and only 8% ownership he’s one of the best plays in the field. I’m trying my best to ignore that Wells Fargo missed cut, but it’s staring me in the fucking face. I’m playing him.
Somehow big dick Rickie Fowler is back in the $8ks. I truly thought I’d never see this day again. But why the fuck would I play him when I can just play Sahiiiiiiiiiiith for $100 less? Theegala finished T5 last year and has made 5 straight cuts this year with a 9th place finish at the Masters in early April. I expect him to fully unveil his cock early and often this weekend.
I don’t normally play this guy but it’s Horsecock week. Billy Horschel is my favorite play in the $7ks. This is strictly a course history play and people will maybe be hesitant to play him as the defending champion. He’s finished in the top 15 3 times in the past 4 years, including a win and a top 10. He’s been tripping on his dick over the past 4 weeks, missing two cuts and finishing T40 at the Charles Schwab Challenge. I expect him to rediscover his magic and dial it in this weekend.
I’m reeling in a small mouth bass. Alex Smalley is the only name I can stomach in the $6ks. There is some absolute ass shit all around here. He had his worst day on the job last year at this course when he finished T98. At $6.8k he is clearly the best play in that range. I am a bit worried about the ownership being over 5% on a $6k guy, but I will still play him. Live shot of me watching this guy blow putt after putt on Friday afternoon:
It’s time for the Cash God Guarantee. This week it’s Justin Thomas. I’m not sure if everyone forgot he was playing this week, but at $9.2k he’s the lock of the year. His ownership projection is also somehow under 13%. I would’ve still played him at over 20%. He hasn’t been great at this event in the last few years outside of a T8 in 2018. A missed cut at the Masters followed by a T65 at the PGA Championship make me think I might end up regretting this like Spieth last week. But it’s time for Justin Thomas to unveil his hog. This is the week I get back on track.
I’ll be back next week.
-CashGod-
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Creator: Tracy Wilcox | Credit: PGA TOUR
The Cash God 