Adrian Meronk cost me another 6/6 this past week. I couldn’t bear to watch after I saw that he missed the cut by one fucking stroke. That tournament didn’t matter I’m already onto the U.S. Open.

The only thing that brings me solace is that Rory did not end up winning. The sample of fading him might be large enough to conclude that he simply can’t win.

These are the weeks when it really can pay off. He’s projected to be the chalk gurgler of the week at 18% right behind Xander and Scottie. I guess I broke my fucking keyboard again dick slamming the exclude button. Live shot of 18% of the field when Rory ejects on Friday afternoon:

There is almost nothing better than scrolling the field and seeing all the big names, however, there is one prominent name missing from the field. That’s Jason Cockrack. I’m chomping at the fucking bit to play him again.

I want to play Papa Jon real bad this week, but I’ve tried lineups with $11k priced golfers in the past and never can get to anything I like. Same with this week. I fucking hate playing Patrick Cantplay but this is the week. Everyone is whacking off California golfers, so I’ll jump into the circle jerk. He’s projected to be the lowest owned of the top range at 11%. He seems to have found it again with 3 top 10s in his last 5 events, including a T9 at the PGA Championship. I’m ready to be let down again.

I am Iron Man. I’m going back to the fucking well with Colin “Iron Man” Morikawa. I’ll be the first to say that he has been complete dogshit in his recent events. He missed the cut at the Wells Fargo Championship, finished T26 at the PGA Championship (where I was balls deep), T29 at the Charles Schwab, then WD at The Memorial earlier this month. All of that is concerning but at that price and ownership (11%) I’m willing to take the gamble on another California golfer. Live shot of me checking his score this weekend when he’s in the mix to win:

I almost feel like I don’t have a choice in the $8ks. I’ve never seen Justin Thomas at a price like this, but I’ve also never seen him gurgle his own sack for so long. If there is any week for him to get back on track it’s this one. He’s missed 2 cuts in his last 5 events and finished T65 at the PGA Championship. This is set up for an all-time buy-low opportunity. He could continue to be complete donkey dick, but there’s only one way to capitalize on his low price and ownership. I’ll be playing him.

My favorite play in this range is once again Bigdicki. I cannot stop clicking his name. How can you not click it at $8.6k and only 13% projected ownership? He’s finished top 25 or better in 5 of his last 6 tournaments, including a T16 at the Masters and a 5th place finish at THE PLAYERS in March. There is no way I’m not going back to the fucking well here.

Another golfer I like in the $8ks is Uncle Dustin Johnson. He’s been historically good at U.S. Open’s and majors. Maybe it’s his turn as a LIV member to win a major? He’s been dogshit at the two he’s played in this year so I likely won’t have too much of him, but he will make his way into some lineups. I don’t normally choose 3 in this range, but I had to mention Uncle Dust. Live shot of Uncle Dust warming up after hurting his back piping Paulina:

It’s Gary Woodcock time. I haven’t gotten one of his good weeks right in a long time. He’s either finishing top 10 or completely fucking ejecting with Rory on Friday afternoon. There is no in-between. He’s been playing well lately outside of a missed cut at the PGA Championship. He has made 7 of his last 8 cuts, including a T14 at the Masters. Now I’m going to insert a potentially useless fact into this paragraph. This course was designed by the same guy that designed Riviera, where he finished T9 this year. At $7.2k and 8%, there is no way I’m passing him up.

The other play I like in the $7ks is Bryson DeShambles. I’m not sure I’ve ever played him in my life but the time has come. This course relies on driving distance and there isn’t a better bomber than DeShambles. He isn’t quite what he used to be in driving distance but he still swings his cock around a bit. His ownership is a little scary at a projected 14%, but I have to play him at that price ($7.2k). Look at this fucking swing:

I only have one name in the $6ks. Get to the fucking dock. It’s time to reel in a Seabass. Before he joined LIV I played Sebastian Munoz on a near-weekly basis. At $6.7k we aren’t going to get a better price. There aren’t better options in this range and he’s been absolutely dick-dragging LIV tournaments this spring.

It’s time for the Cash God Guarantee. This week it’s Max Homa. CALIFORNIA DREEEEEEEAAAAMIN. I’m staying with the California golfers, but this one is a bit deeper. This is Homa’s home course and he set the course record here at the Pac-12 Championship in 2013. He’s gotten absolutely shit on in his past 3 U.S. Opens, but this year he is coming in with 2 top 10s in his last 3 tournaments. His ownership is only projected to be 10% and he provides some of the best leverage in the field off of the chalkiest golfer in Xander Schauffele. That’s enough for me to get to full mast. Live look at me when he finishes top 5 and I win the milly maker:

I’ll be back next week.

-CashGod-

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