Cam Young, Adam Schenk, and Denny all brought their dicks out, and so did I. That field was so bad so it was difficult to watch any of it regardless of results.
A familiar name graces the top of the field this week. One of these times my keyboard is getting snapped in half by my hammer when I click exclude on Rory. This might be the week.
The best play in the top range is clearly Xander Schauffele. He’s over $1k less than Scheffler (who is swinging his meat around like a butcher shop with 5 straight top 5s) and has the lowest ownership of the four $10ks. He won this tournament last year and doesn’t have his first yet this year. This is the week he does it. I don’t have my first win yet either…
It’s time for Tommy Fleetcock. After missing only one cut in his first 12 events this year he has missed 2 of the last 4. I’m going to ignore that because he strokes his dick at the thought of this course. He’s finished in the top 5 two of the last three years here, including a runner up. I wanted to play Fitzmagic but it wasn’t worth the $400. Instead I’ll be helicoptering it when Tommy ends up with another top 5.
It’s still Tom Kim time. He’s played like complete shit as of late, missing 3 of his last 5 cuts. In between those is a T8 at the U.S. Open so he’s not completely fucked. At $8.5k and under 10% projected ownership I have no choice but to play him. He finished 3rd at this event last year and is in need of a good tournament.
There’s nothing that brings my dick to full mast quicker than seeing a course history like Thomas Detry’s sitting in the $7ks. He’s finished T10, T2, and T30 in the last 3 years here. At 6% projected ownership I don’t know how you pass. I don’t care if he’s missed two straight cuts. Detry lurking around after two straight missed cuts:
This next name is one that I don’t think I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s Jaime Donaldson time. Anyone in the $6k range is liable to fucking eject at any moment so I’m heavily relying on course history here. He somehow has two top 10s in the last 5 years at this event, including a T6 last year. At $6.4k and less than 1% projected ownership I will be playing him. I could maybe even slip a few Scheffler lineups in if I play enough of him.
It’s time for the Cash God Guarantee. It’s Justin Thomas. He went from “feeling like he’s swinging as well as he has in a while” to gurgling his own nutsack for 2 full days at the U.S. Open, posting one of the worst scores in the field. I don’t know what is wrong with him, but I will keep betting on the underlying talent and the opportunity to buy low. He’s missed 3 of his last 4 cuts, but has finished top 10 twice in the last five years at this event. This is the week he gets back on track. Live shot of me beating my fucking meat when Thomas wins:
I’ll be back next week.
-CashGod-
If you like this content, please follow on Twitter (@DFSCashgod) and subscribe below.
Cover Photo Creator: Andy Lyons | Credit: Getty Images
The Cash God 