Well well well we have arrived at the final major of the year. It seemed like just a few days ago when we were begging for anything in the worst fields of the year during the month of January. I’m going to get it out of the way early. This is an all-time Rory fade week. It doesn’t matter how well he is playing right now. Click the button. I will be ceremoniously buying a new keyboard from the weight of my sack breaking the button, join in. He’s projected to be 18% owned as the second most expensive golfer in the field. This is the easiest fade of my life.
If you’re not playing Scottie (which I cannot for that price), you should be playing Rahm or Cam Smith. I’ll be going Cam Smith for the salary savings ($500) and the low ownership (<8% projected). It’s time for him to swing dick once again. He won this event last year despite having some pretty rough historical results. He’s been hot as of late with 4 top 10s in his last 5 events (Yes, I realize it’s LIV, but according to DeShambles that’s the better tour). Smith is the best play of the top range for price and ownership alone.
While everyone jacks off Fleetwood and Hatton I’m going to be lurking in the fucking weeds playing Cameron Young. He hasn’t had much to write about this season, but he finished T7 at the Masters, T32 at the U.S. Open, and just finished T6 two weeks ago at the John Deere Classic. The real number I’m looking at is his second-place finish last year at The Open. I’m stroking my dick to that I can assure you. I’m playing him this week. Live shot of me when he cashes another top 5:
It feels like I’m only picking low-owned golfers. My favorite play in the $8ks is Bryson DeShambles. If the last year was any indication, he can play well at these Links courses. He’s already finished in the top 20 twice in majors this year (T20 and T7). His ownership projection (6%) is way too good to pass up. I’ll play him for $100 more than Clark at double the ownership.
It’s time to go back to the fucking well. I’m playing Tom Kim this week after a bit of a hiatus. Some golfers rise to the occasion and play better in majors and some wilt like a shriveled ballsack (Rory). Kim has a T16 and a T8 on his resume this year at the Masters and the U.S. Open. He’s looking to add a second top 10 this weekend. He finished T47 here last year, which was great experience for him. Live shot of the poor sap next to the 18th green when Kim starts his celebration after another drilling a long putt:
I’m beyond sick and disgusted that I don’t see Jason Cockrack’s name in the field this week. It’s been pretty unbearable to play him since he left for LIV so maybe it works out. The other name I have circled is Talor Gooch. fortunately he’s in the field this week and my favorite play in the $7ks. He somehow has won 3 LIV events this season. He’s having the fucking time of his life over there. It’s time for him to make a run at a major. He has two years of Open experience, finishing T33 (2021) and T34 (2022). At $7.8k and under 8% projected ownership there’s no fading.
I’m keeping with the leeeeeeeverage plays. The next name is Si Woo Kim. He’s projected to be under 5% owned and is as good of a play as anyone else in this range. People are really going to play Brian fucking Harman over Si Woo? Si Woo had a tough few years at The Open then bounced back with a T15 last year. I expect him to uncoil the pants pole again and have another great Open this year. Live shot of Si Woo bringing me the million (I haven’t won in a while):
I don’t think Robert Macintyre is priced correctly and the ownership projection shows I’m not the only one. I hate playing someone in the $6ks at over 20% ownership but this feels like a near-lock based on his history at these Opens. He also finished second last week at the Scottish Open. I’m sick to my stomach clicking a name at that ownership projection but almost feel like I have no choice. I’ll get unique elsewhere.
The Cash God Guarantee is Jordan Spieth. Spieth has looked like absolute dogshit and so has his pal Justin Thomas. That won’t stop me from playing Spieth this week. I’m going to ignore his recent results (3 MCs in his last 4 events), including a complete dick gurgling on the greens of the Los Angeles Country Club. This is purely based on Open history. He’s finished top 10 in 4 of the last 5 years at The Open, including a win in 2018 and a runner-up finish in 2021. At 5% ownership, he is the perfect leverage play and the best play in the entire field.
I’ll be back next week.
-CashGod-
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Photo Creator: Jeff Gross | Credit: Getty Images
The Cash God 