It’s officially over for Justin Thomas. He gurgled his sack for the final time. Let the record show that I gave him one last chance this past week and he completely fucked me over. It sounds like he’s more worried about being on the Ryder Cup team than winning. The amount of double bogeys he’s had in the last few weeks makes me wonder if I could compete on tour? This is all I can think of any time I see him comment on the Ryder Cup:
Sungjae brings out his dick every year at this event and there is nothing better than seeing a course history like that. I’m sucking chalk here, but there isn’t really a better option in the $10k range unless you want to play Bigdicki. Sungjae has missed 2 of his last 5 cuts and hasn’t finished in the top 20 in the other 3 events, but this field is complete dogshit and I’ve already gone over the course history. I feel like I’ve said it for the last 6 weeks but I need a bounce back BAD.
J.T. Poston’s course history is one of the worst things I’ve ever laid eyes on, but that isn’t going to stop me from playing him this week. He’s playing the best golf of his life (3 top 10s in his last 4 events) and actually has a few good results in past years here, despite some abysmal ones that overshadow. He won the event in 2019 and finished T21 last year. The others are unspeakably bad so I’m going to try to avoid him this week in favor of Jaegerbombs. He’s made 11 straight cuts, finished T13 at this event last year, and is only projected to be 13% owned vs Poston’s 20%+.
The first name that caught my eye in the $8ks was Byeong Hun An. He’s made his last 3 cuts, including a T3 at the Scottish Open and a T23 at the Open. At $8.4k and a projected 14% ownership he’s my favorite play in this range. He’s played at this event 2 times in the last 5 years, finishing 3rd and T35. The only other I’d consider here is the small mouth fucking bass Alex Smalley. McCarthy is too chalky otherwise I’d be gurgling down a Denny’s as usual.
In the $7ks it starts to get a bit scary. I’m going to do it. Webb Simpson named his daughter after this course so it would be a complete disgrace to her name to play like shit or WD (like last year). He is worth the risk regardless of how dog ass he’s been as of late in my opinion. I’m shocked to see his ownership projection under 5%, but this will make or break my week. Live shot of Webb’s reformed swing:
In the $6ks we can pretty much throw a random dart. It’s Peter Pan time. C.T. Pan has a respectable tournament history and somehow has two top 10s on the year. He’s made 3 of his last 5 cuts (which doesn’t seem THAT bad for this price range) and only has 3 other total missed cuts this year. I’m playing him.
It’s time for the Cash God Guarantee. This week it’s Shane the fucking brain Lowry. He somehow missed the cut at The Open, but I’m not letting that distract me from his 4 top 20s in 6 tournaments. I’m going to be stroking my shit all Sunday afternoon when he drains putt after putt and maintains a huge lead. I need this in the worst fucking way. It would be nice to get some momentum going into the NFL season.
I’ll be back next week.
-CashGod-
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Photo Credits – Creator: Oisin Keniry – Credit: Getty Image
The Cash God 