My day was over long before Fields dislocated his cock or whatever happened last Sunday, but that was the nail in my coffin. I thought it was finally my week when Walker scored an early touchdown and Thielen was fucking blasting off, but it went the other direction very quickly.

I’ve been on bad variance streaks before, but this one seems to have a little extra. Is it finally a reality that I’m ass?

It’s time for the plays.

I said last week was a dogshit set of games, but somehow this one is worse. I see two totals over 45 (Chargers-Chiefs, Packers-Broncos) and there is somehow only 1 indoor game. What the fuck?

It’s time to see how bad this Broncos defense truly is. I’m assuming the numbers are still skewed a bit from the paint job of a Miami game, but they still allowed an average of 26 over the next 3. If Jordan Love can’t do it against this defense he can’t do it at all. This is somehow one of the best games on the slate with a 45 point total. Russ has enough left in him to keep up if it shoots out. I’m playing Jordan Love.

I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel this week. I don’t think I’ve played Stafford in multiple years, but it’s time to bring him out of the shed again. The Steelers have allowed the 3rd-most passing yards in the league in the past 3 games and this is the only indoor game on the slate. I’m assuming it will be somewhat of a home game for the Steelers in LA, but it doesn’t matter. It’s time for the Staff to uncoil his rod.

I’m going to avoid LAC-KC in hopes that it turns into a slog and eats all ownership. The Chargers defense is so fucking bad I don’t know if that’s possible. Regardless, I’m playing Lamar. He’s been on the bad end of some horrific drops this year and I think it’s time for some positive regression. It’s time for him to break the slate once again. Live shot of me watching him run in his second TD of the game in the first quarter:

Saquon immediately gets 28 touches coming off of injury and I have no choice but to play him this week. The Commanders have one of the bottom 10 rushing defenses in the NFL and are allowing almost 130 yards per game. If Saquon is getting all of the touches I don’t see how you fade. He’s in the middle ground where the chalk is all around him but not on him. This is the time.

The Packers have one of the worst rushing defenses in the league and are allowing over 140 yards per game. Javonte Williams is two weeks removed from missing the Jets game. Joe Lombardi is jizzing his shit over Williams in the interviews. It’s finally time for him to bust out and I won’t be the one to miss the week. This is the second-best game on the slate behind KC-LAC so I’d like to have as many pieces as possible.

I’ll be playing running backs against the Giants until further notice. That team is one of the biggest dumpster fires in a league full of them. They’ve allowed the second-most rushing yards in the league behind Denver and are somehow 3-point home underdogs against the Commanders. Danny Dimes is going to cost Daboll his job. My response to anyone who asks if I need a new pair of pants after Brian Robinson hits the bonus in the third quarter:

The Jordan Love stacks are simple. Love-Watson-Doubs. Is this finally the week where Watson starts blasting off? I could really use it in DFS and season-long. My favorite comeback in this game is Sutton, but there is a chance I sneak some Jeudy in for the squeaky wheel. He’s been complete dogshit.

I don’t know if there’s any way to avoid playing Kupp and Puca with Staffy, but it gets expensive very quickly. The best part of this stack is that Dionte Johnson is a “sneaky” comeback. It’s his first week back and I am playing him as the comeback in this game. If he’s ass he’s ass.

The Lamar stacks are going to be almost exclusively Zay Flowers skinny stacks. Lamar’s ceiling is obviously very dependent on his rushing boner. The easy comeback in this game is ASB and I probably won’t stray very far from that stack. Detroit’s defense has been much better this year (Dan Campbell narrative), but I think they still have some shootout potential. The primary discourse around this game:

I’m staying fairly tight on my WRs this week so likely no one-off plays.

TE is a complete disaster this year. I’m not sure I’ve seen one fucking flame at that position. I’ll suck my own dick this week. I’m playing Mark Andrews and Sam LaPorta because I’m in on that game already, but I don’t like doing it. I’ll end up with some Musgrave and Logan Thomas as well, but that’s probably about it. If Kyle Pitts goes off one more time without me playing him I’m going to retire.

This Commanders-Giants game is the sack bowl. I won’t play the Commanders’ defense, but I might slip in a few Giants in the lineups where I don’t play Brian Robinson. The Commanders have allowed the second-most sacks in the NFL and I think Howell is on pace to get hit the most times ever. The other defenses I like this week are Cleveland, Atlanta, and Arizona (Gannon has them playing hard).

It’s time for the week 7 Cash God Guarantee. It’s Aaron Jones week. I saw a quote from Jones saying this is the best he has felt since his hamstring injury in week 1. Last time I went with something like this it was Will Zalatoris withdrawing before he took a fucking swing at the Masters last April. I’m trusting that this will be different and going all fucking in. I thought the Dolphins game maybe skewed Denver’s rush defense stats, but they’ve still allowed the most in the league over the last 3 (167). If there’s a time for Aaron Jones to erupt this is it. Live shot of my CGG process this week:

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