Last week was somehow good. I had Purdy and Deebo, but completely fucked up the running backs with Bijan and Warren. I’m not sure what was going o with Warren other than a self dick gurgling ceremony. Regardless, I had a good lineup and profited on the week. It’s been a bad year, so it felt like I won the milly maker.

This week is all time bad at QB. There are only a few relevant options outside of the Allen-Mahomes matchup. I’m not sure how that’s not prime-time but maybe I won’t have to play the showdown then.

I’m sucking down the Fields well water again. It’s time. Detroit’s defense is starting to look a little more like last year and is in the bottom 3rd in the NFL for pass yards allowed. Fields kinda looked like shit after the first drive or two against the Vikings but I’m going to ignore that and play him anyway.

The other QB I’m playing this week is Josh Dobbs. It’s going to be a tape removal ceremony in Las Vegas when Dobbs uncoils his hose on that sorry Raiders defense. Justin Jefferson is back and Dobbs need a fucking bounce back game. The Raiders have allowed the most passing yards in the league over the past 3 weeks. It’s Dobby time.

Damien Pierce is back and 15 touches is enough to get there at $5k against this Jets run D. I said it last week with Bijan. They’re ass despite what happened. I’m playing Dick Piercer.

It’s Zack Moss time. More than one of my season long teams got completely fucked by Jonathon Taylor so I might as well try to salvage some of the leftovers by playing Moss. The Bengals have allowed the 6th-most rushing yards in the league this season and the Colts are not afraid to pound the fucking rock with Moss.

The Fields stacks are simple. It’s a skinny stack with either Kmet or Moore. Fields has been feeding Moore like a goose at the local pond so I prefer him but will likely have some Kmet as well. The comeback in this game is ASB or Gibbs. I could be talked into a Frankenstein revenge game though.

Dobby to Jefferson and Hock is the stack of the week. I’m a little worried about Dobby supporting 2 pass catchers with so much of his value coming on the ground, but this Vegas defense is so fucking bad I’m not sure it will matter. This is going to be a cock unveiling ceremony on live television.

The 3 TEs I’ll play this week are Hock, Kmet and Likely. I absolutely hate paying over $6k for a TE but it has to be done this week. I’m playing as much Likely as possible.

My favorite defenses this week are the Bills, Chiefs and Broncos. That Bills/Chiefs game could get wild and that’s perfect for either defense. The Broncos D is fucking back and they’re about the highest I’ll go in price this week for a defense.

It’s time for the week 14 Cash God Guarantee. It’s Joe Mixon. I’m not sure I’ve said his name all year, even out loud to myself. The Colts have one of the worst run defenses in the league and you just know Zac Taylor is looking to pound it this week. The Colts have somehow allowed over 150 yards per game on the ground in their past 3. It’s fucking time.