GEOOOOOOORGIA. GEOOOOORGIA. GEOOOOOOORGIA ON MY MIIIIIIIIIND. I’m back and there’s not a fucking chance I’m passing up on a chance at a million this weekend. There are so many story lines this week and I’m jacking it like no other. I’ve barely recovered from last year when Zalatoris withdrew prior to taking a single swing, flushing 75% of my lineups down the toilet. I had an all time bad NFL season, but it’s time to right the ship.

I scrolled through the top range and the first move I made was an easy one. I excluded Rory. This is the best part of my entire process. I can’t wait until he inevitably lays a paint job on the course. I can see how that price would be tempting, but don’t do it. You will regret it for every minute you watch. He’s had 2 completely dogshit finishes in his last 3 attempts at Augusta and I don’t see that changing this year. I might even try to find a Rory MC line to bet.

In the top range, I’m playing almost exclusively Rahm. I don’t really know what the breakeven point on Scheffler is at that price but I’m just going to play Rahm instead. I can’t imagine these LIV guys will get overlooked again, but either way, I think Rahm is the best play from the top range. Papa Jon takes his cock out time and time again at The Masters. I will be ordering multiple Papa John’s pizzas for the Sunday sweat I can assure you of that.

My god Zalatoris is staring at me in the face in this $9k range. I can’t fucking do it. I can’t ruin my weekend again. If he whips his cock out he whips his cock out and I’ll live with it. Down $200 from him is the real play in this range. Big fucking Dicki Matsuyama. He’s playing some of his best golf right now (T7, T6, T12, and a win in his last 4) and this price ($9k) is way too good to pass up.

I think it’s finally time for Hovland to make a fucking run. He’s another one of my other favorites in this $9k range. His results so far this year have been somewhat uninspiring (T22, T58, T19, T36, T62), but he played extremely well at this tournament last year (T7) and was great in all of the majors last year. It’s time.

I’m about to hang brain. Shane the fucking brain Lowry is one of the best values in the entire field at $8k. That is an absurd price and I’m a bit worried that he might end up being high owned. But it doesn’t matter I’m sucking chalk down like it’s the last bit of sustenance on earth. He’s finished in the top 25 (including a top 3) each of his last 4 trips to Augusta and is coming into this tournament in good form with a T19 at THE PLAYERS last month, a 3rd place finish at the Arnold Palmer and a T4 at PGA National in late February. This is easily one of the best plays in the field.

I don’t have much conviction in the $7k range but one name that stands out is Matt Fitzmagic at $7.9k. He hasn’t missed a cut in the last 5 years at Augusta and finished top 10 last year. He has not been great this year, but is dialing it in in his last 2 tournaments with a 5th place finish at THE PLAYERS in mid March and a T10 last week at the Valero Texas Open. Live look at me checking my phone for the first time on Thursday seeing a hot start from Fitzmagic:

I’m playing Tiger. This is one of the last times we will be able to play Tiger. At this price ($6.8k) I think there’s some meat on the boner. He is going all out this year, including abstaining from piping. After the tournament he will be plowing on a daily basis with no regard – I’m sure of it. That’s after he wins it. My response to anyone asking if I played Tiger:

It’s time for the Cash God Guarantee. It’s Iron Man time. Morikawa has been complete dogshit so far this year with 2 missed cuts and a couple bad finishes. The price reflects that. There are guys that take it to another level at majors and I’d like to think he is one of them with back to back top 10 finishes at The Masters in the past 2 years. There isn’t much better value out there than this. I’m all fucking in. Live shot of me when Iron Man lifts the trophy on Sunday and that $1m hits my DK account: