I actually was able to min cash last week with a Darnold – Jefferson – Gibbs lineup that really looked like shit once you scanned the rest of it. Nabers had his worst week on the job and I inexplicably played Tim Patrick. Why would I ever play Tim Patrick. This week I’m going to reveal my lineup at noon.

QB: Jameis

If you aren’t playing Jameis against the worst pass defense in the league you might want to reevaluate your process. I’m not usually a fan of these dogshit Cleveland-Baltimore games but there are some interesting pieces of this. The big dog will be BUSTING one early to get the game going and then it’s a track meet from there. First Baker, then Darnold, now it’s time for Jameis to uncoil his cock.

RB: Henry and Hunt

I already explained the Henry process above. The Chiefs are looking incredibly inept on offense so I expect that they will keep fucking pounding. They have a great team total against the wrinkled sack of Las Vegas.

WR: Cedric Tillman, Tyreek Hill, and Trey Palmer

I’m hoping to avoid some of the McMillan chalk by going to Palmer. I am guzzling chalk at an unbelievable rate with Tyreek but that price is simply too low. I’m not sure who was at the wheel at Draftkings when they allowed that to slip by. They might have been too distracted by this Taylor Mathis situation. RIP walking bets.

TE: Bowers

I hate to do this but I am playing the high priced TE. There’s a 50 percent chance he is sucking his own dick come 4pm today. In that case it will be the last time I play his sorry ass. It’s either that or 20 targets 150 yards and a TD. There is no in between.

D/ST: Chargers

I had some salary leftover so I fired it into the sun on a defense. The Saints are a fucking disaster. I’m just worried this game will be too ugly to even have enough passing attempts to produce a ceiling game for a defense. Maybe they will get there on sacks.