The Cash God

Author: cashgoddfs

  • The CJ Cup Preview: Hovland and the Dustballs

    The CJ Cup Preview: Hovland and the Dustballs

    I have a lot of respect for my fellow degens still grinding these golf tournaments with me. I got blasted last week as a result of Bigdicki having the worst round of his life on his home course. Matt Wallace also appeared to forget what a golf club was on his way to a 64th-place…

  • Monday Night Football Preview: Russ and Hackkjob Finally Cook

    Monday Night Football Preview: Russ and Hackkjob Finally Cook

    I don’t know what else to say other than the Kirk stacks were a fucking terrible idea. The Dolphins’ offense was limper than Matt Ryan’s penis elbow so there was absolutely no speeding up the pace of the game, despite the Vikings’ defense being possibly the worst in the league. Even the Bears scored 20…

  • Week 6 NFL DFS Preview: Action Jackson and the TE Hogs

    Week 6 NFL DFS Preview: Action Jackson and the TE Hogs

    Chalk James Robinson and the 22% Cowboys D drained my profit along with my dick faster than I thought was humanly possible on Sunday afternoon. I had a few Josh Allen to Gabe Davis/Shakir lineups, but went way too heavy on Herbert to Mike Williams and completely faded the Bucs-Falcons game where Uncle Fourskin left…

  • ZOZO Championship DFS Preview: Bigdicki and the Ball Strikers

    ZOZO Championship DFS Preview: Bigdicki and the Ball Strikers

    In hindsight, the Cantplay fade looked like absolute dog ass, but at 40% ownership, I think you can make the argument that it wasn’t that bad. His collapse on Sunday was borderline poetic. I was a Denny McCarthy dick gurgling away from a 6/6 single entry, but at least Kim uncoiled his python and finished…

  • Monday Night Football Preview: JuJu Unveils and the Kelce Fade

    Monday Night Football Preview: JuJu Unveils and the Kelce Fade

    If there was any doubt that games are rigged for Brady, look no further than that “roughing the passer” call that cost the Falcons the fucking game. Brady got swung down like a flaccid piece of lettuce, but he had the ball the entire time. I don’t know how you watch another game as a…

  • Week 5 Preview: Big Mike and the Volcano

    Week 5 Preview: Big Mike and the Volcano

    I liked Geno going into last week, but there’s no way I could have predicted that type of game from him. He was swinging his cock around the field like he was back in West Virginia circa 2012. I went a little heavier on Lamar than I should have and faded Hockencock so that ultimately…

  • Shriners Children’s Open Preview: Kim and the Well

    Shriners Children’s Open Preview: Kim and the Well

    I’ve been playing single entry in these shit PGA tournaments. This week was fucking horrific, but I like how the lineup ended up ownership-wise. I stayed away from the Cock Burns and Montgomery chalk, but unfortunately, the Montgomery chalk hit and he finished 9th. I also had 3 MCs (Posten, Mullinax, and Endycock) in my…

  • Monday Night Football Preview: The Rams Onslaught

    Monday Night Football Preview: The Rams Onslaught

    My Lamar double stacks and zero Hockencock were the nails in the coffin to my chances of profiting on Sunday. Variance caught up to me a bit with none of my Geno stacks having Hockencock as the comeback. That’s inexcusably bad, but I couldn’t stomach the high ownership and saw Goff relentlessly feed Reynolds last…

  • Week 4 Preview: Taylor and the Paint Job

    Week 4 Preview: Taylor and the Paint Job

    I mentioned it in the Monday recap, but I’ll say it again because with variance you never know how many net positive weeks you’ll get. I finally dragged my dick on the slate last week. On my initial lineup run, I ended up with 75% Mack Hollins because of how expensive the Mahomes–Kelce stacks were…

  • Sanderson Farms Championship Preview: A Grand Slam Breakfast

    Sanderson Farms Championship Preview: A Grand Slam Breakfast

    What the fuck is Sanderson Farms? I will need a full jar of Viagra for this one because this is one of the worst tournaments/fields you’ll ever see. I’m coming off of a good week in PGA despite how bad the Draftkings contests were for the Presidents Cup. I gurgled chalk like there was no…