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The Masters Preview: Tiger Woods and My Wood
Last week, I went a little light on lineups in preparation for The Masters. I got completely fucked by Rory and The Jizzer Kizzire. I was going to save it for later in the article but it needs to be said. Rory’s performance was an embarrassment to his career and the sport of golf. I’m…
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Valero Texas Open Preview: Hadwin and the Geezers
I don’t have anything to say about that last tournament. I got completely shit on. 0 lineups cashing. Noren was fucking terrible even though he didn’t have an opponent for one of his rounds. Paul Casey saw one drive out of Noren and decided he was fucking cooked so he withdrew. It simply comes down…
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WCG Dell Technologies Match Play Preview: Shit Chest 2.0
Sometimes you take a stand and lose. That happened to me in a big way this past week. Some say variance some say bad luck. Let’s just say going 100% Jason Cockrack did not end well. It seemed like he was one of the only golfers bogeying holes so I’m not sure what the fuck…
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Valspar Championship Preview: Shit Weather and Redemption
I woke up on Thursday morning to take a look at my lineups and the first thing I saw was the Hedicki WD. I was already tilting from Wednesday night when I somehow only entered 92 lineups in a contest that I wanted to enter 150. Holy shit. It got even worse when I confirmed…
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The Players Preview: Xander and the Hole in My Wall
Gary Woodcock and I are getting hot at the right time. We both head into The Players on a high note as he finished 5th last week and I went 4x. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: There is a point in the year when I become one with the slate or…
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Arnold Palmer Preview: Cockrack’s Return to Glory
I got absolutely shit on. This was one of the worst weeks in any sport. I cashed zero of my 20 lineups. When you end up with 80% Joaquin and Aaron Wise that will happen. I’m going to get right into my plays for this week. This is a course for the ball strikers. In…
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Honda Classic Preview: Wise and I Drill Holes
I made 20 lineups last week and all 20 contained Joaquin Niemann. Somehow I still managed to only break even. It didn’t take long to see why. His name is Talor fucking Gooch. He was too busy responding to MeechDFS on Twitter and finished with the 5th worst score. I’m not quite yet sure whether…
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Genesis Invitational Preview: Patty Ice Unveils IT
I am still in a euphoric state after the Super Bowl. I had a milly sweat going into the last possession of the game that hinged on a Hopkins TD that ended up in Kupp’s hands after he was concussed but somehow allowed to stay in the game. The eye in the sky turned their…
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Divisional Round Preview: Big Mike
I took an absolute bath last week in both slates and the showdown. I played Jimmy G and got what I deserved. I do think the process was there despite the outcome. The Cowboy’s offense went full Darren Waller on us, preventing any possibility of a shootout. A Mike McCarthy special in the playoffs. The…
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Week 18 Preview: Taysom’s Hill
I am writing this article through the pain as I see Drew Lock run into the endzone for his second TD. My lineup is dead on impact for this dogshit Saturday slate. Some of these slates are similar to throwing at a dartboard with your eyes closed. My Saturday lineup has a Cowboys triple stack…
The Cash God 