I’m late on the article this week. I was busy taking out a loan for the deposit I need to make after getting blasted once again last week by the Bucs late game. I haven’t been on the Bucs stack all year and my bank account knows it better than anyone. I’ll get right into…

I’m about to deposit for the 5th straight day. These NBA slates have left a dick-shaped imprint on my forehead. When I say I need this NFL slate to go well I really mean it. At QB this week I’ll mostly be on Dick Hurts, Derek Carr (Hate the sin, love the man), Rodgers, and…

It is Saturday afternoon and I’m trying to sift through the ass load of injuries that have rained down onto us like the toilet after 3 straight days of Chipotle. It’s the first week of byes so ownership was going to be more concentrated, but these injuries will make it even worse. I’ll get right…

I’m in Washington tilting my face off that I can’t enter DFS contests. Luckily I had already reserved a few before I left so I can edit those. The Cash God will not be denied. We have reached the point in the season that the information just flows through me and I become one with…

Week 4 was by far my best week of the season. I didn’t get buried by some fucking duster like Ty’Son Williams or pick a shit CGG like Lockett. Speaking of Ty’Son, he was inactive this week and they gave 18 carries and 62% of the snaps at RB to the god damn Tay Train.…

Showdowns were an absolute dumpster fire this week. The connection to my bank account is running hot to start this season. I’ll get right into the plays. I need this week bad. I’m going to mainly build my stacks around Brussell, Murray, Cousins, and Dick Hurts with some Briskett sprinkled in there (5.1k revenge game…

I’ve had a terrible start to the season. The worst part about this past week was that I thought I was so locked in. Maybe I’m a market moving whale or maybe not, but I saw a 4.5% projection on Ty’Son Williams and he ended up at 15%. The tilting part about that was that…

Showdown on Thursday night was rough. I had a unique lineup (thanks to $5.7k dick), but ended up missing cashing by .44. It looked like David Culley and I had the same reaction to watching Davis Mills not complete a pass to Chris Conley all fucking game: Moving onto Sunday. There are a couple great…

I’m not sure how to describe last week other than disappointing and a missed opportunity. Kevin Stefanski neglected to give Dick Fucking Chubb enough touches to have the proper eruption game I was expecting when I made him the CGG. I thought for sure when Baker went down it was going to happen, but I…

I just had an abysmal performance in the Thursday night game. Down with the bots. I wrote an article last week but didn’t get the chance to post it as a result of not being at a computer. I went almost 100% Jameis and was eating a fucking W until I realized I paired him…