Category: NFL

  • Week 7 NFL DFS Preview: Jones’ Eruption

    Week 7 NFL DFS Preview: Jones’ Eruption

    My day was over long before Fields dislocated his cock or whatever happened last Sunday, but that was the nail in my coffin. I thought it was finally my week when Walker scored an early touchdown and Thielen was fucking blasting off, but it went the other direction very quickly. I’ve been on bad variance…

  • Week 6 NFL DFS Preview: Walker and the Tape Removal Ceremony

    Week 6 NFL DFS Preview: Walker and the Tape Removal Ceremony

    Breece did not save my bank account, but he wasn’t the one that cost me. It was the fucking Kirk-Jefferson stacks. Somehow this game total went under and Jefferson getting hurt was the final glazing that ended my day. I’m not making that same mistake again this week. Luckily, Kirk is $7.1k so I don’t…

  • Week 5 NFL DFS Preview: Breece Saves my Account

    Week 5 NFL DFS Preview: Breece Saves my Account

    The run did not end last week. It got worse. Chase was dogshit as Burrow looks like one of the worst players in the NFL. I switched to Aiden O’Connel when Pornstar whisperer was ruled out and that stack with Adams got me around 27 points total. The account is going to be bone dry…

  • Week 4 NFL DFS Preview: I Chase Losses

    Week 4 NFL DFS Preview: I Chase Losses

    I lost everything again last week. Bijan had his worst week of the season and Fields was somehow almost worse. I had way too much of those two along with Mike Williams and got completely blasted for all of my entry fees. This has been an all-time bad year. I’m either fucking terrible or variance…

  • Week 3 NFL DFS Preview: Bijan Busts the Slate

    Week 3 NFL DFS Preview: Bijan Busts the Slate

    I fucking lost it all again last week. There’s nothing worse than being in the top 10 for the first hour of the slate and finishing with absolutely nothing. I was full-blown midnight when I looked at my phone after the second first quarter Richardson TD. Richardson going down followed by the ETN icicles was…

  • Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Etienne and the Well

    Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Etienne and the Well

    All things considered week 1 could have been a lot worse. Don’t get me wrong I got completely dick blasted by the slate, but I didn’t lose it all despite not having as much Tyreek as I needed and having nearly 100% Cooper. There’s no beating around the bush here. Deshaun Watson is fucking terrible.…

  • NFL DFS Week 1 Preview: Cooper and the Super Genius

    NFL DFS Week 1 Preview: Cooper and the Super Genius

    The time is once again upon us. I barely made it through the PGA season without taking out a fucking loan to cover my weekly losses. It all started with the Zalatoris WD in April. I never recovered. I’m back and it’s time to win it all back in one week. I’m finishing this immediately…

  • Super Bowl Sunday DFS Preview: The Kelce Fade 2.0

    Super Bowl Sunday DFS Preview: The Kelce Fade 2.0

    Normally in this first paragraph I talk about getting blasted by the slate and variance, but I’m going to put it simply. I’ve taken my cock out on the last 3 slates. These playoff slates have been the best 3 of the year for me and my DraftKings balance is at a 3-year high (non-deposit).…

  • NFL Championship Sunday DFS Preview: Skeleton Key Perine and the Chase Fade

    NFL Championship Sunday DFS Preview: Skeleton Key Perine and the Chase Fade

    I kept it fucking rolling last week until Saturday night at around 1am when I degen-entered the Sunday-only slate. I still ended up with a good week despite losing every single entry on the Sunday-only slate. Another 2 game slate this weekend with only 4 teams left. It’s more important than ever to really pick…

  • NFL Divisional Round DFS Preview: Deebo and I Jag Off

    NFL Divisional Round DFS Preview: Deebo and I Jag Off

    The Saturday and Sunday slates last week were a few of my best of the season. On Saturday I thought I had fucked up so badly with Lawrence throwing 4 picks in the first half. But then, foot by foot, his pants snake crept out of hiding. I’m looking to keep it rolling this weekend…