The Cash God

Category: NFL

Wild Card Sunday NFL DFS Special: Barkley, Hodgins and the Thielen Curtain Call

DraftKings had a few options this weekend, but they didn’t make it a 6-game slate, or even a 5-game Saturday-Sunday slate. The good news with that is that we have more shots on goal. The bad news is that I *could* be losing 3 times as much money this weekend. Or maybe I take my…

January 14, 2023
Week 18 NFL DFS Main Slate Preview: McCaffrey and the Dustballs

I’d first like to say that it was great to hear some positive news regarding Damar Hamlin on Thursday/Friday and hopefully we continue to hear good things and we hope for the best in the coming days. I don’t have much of a recap other than I had another -95% ROI day on Sunday. I…

January 6, 2023
Week 17 NFL DFS Main Slate Preview: Etienne and the Pendulum

I was coming off one of my worst DFS Sundays of the season on Monday. I then sit back to watch the Colts-Chargers game with two season-long teams needing about 5 points out of Dick Folds to advance. I was relaxed. What Folds do? He proceeds to gurgle his own dick like it’s the last…

December 30, 2022
Week 16 NFL DFS Main Slate Preview: Cook and the Game Stack

I’m coming off one of the worst weeks I’ve ever had. DraftKings and/or Fantasy Labs owes me around $1.1 million for not allowing me to upload my set of lineups. I don’t know how else to say it. I then was knocked out of all best ball tournaments on Monday Night while watching my Rodgers…

December 22, 2022
Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Rodgers and the Lock

This was my worst week of the season. I fucked up so badly. I cut it way too closely to lock trying to upload my lineups and I’m still not sure if it was user error, DraftKings, or Fantasy Labs. Nightmare struck and I was not able to upload my lineups so I just had…

December 19, 2022
Week 15 NFL Main Slate DFS Preview: Big Mike and the Curtain Call

Last week was somehow my best week of the year. No massive wins, but finally some nice profit. I dodged some of the bad chalk and ended up with a lot of Evan Engram on his dicks out game of the year. I was stoking that volcano with dollars pretty much every week of the…

December 16, 2022
Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Stevenson and Showtime

I had my best Sunday of the season around the time Evan Engram whipped out the basilisk for 11-162-2. I didn’t know he had that in him, but I truly have played him around 80% of the weeks this year so it was good to finally get some of that money back. Going 75% Goff…

December 12, 2022
Week 14 Preview: Sanders and the Bad Stack

There is nothing worse than going into a week thinking you read the slate like a book only to see an absolute 0 at the end of the day. We finally had some good games and I performed a dick-gurgling routine on myself with Lawrence, Mahomes, and Herbert. I’m not sure how many times I…

December 9, 2022
Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Olave and Double RB

Variance must be worse than ever this season. My stacks were so fucking bad. I even slipped a Rodgers lineup in the milly and that was a massive mistake. DeShaun Watson looked like complete ass shit, but the Browns’ defense somehow got 30 points, breaking the slate. I’m not sure how many more weeks like…

December 5, 2022
Week 13 NFL DFS Preview: Kelce and the Chubb

There is a serious chance I need to retire from showdowns. I am so fucking bad. Every time I enter, I am convinced I’ve found the nuts only to be in complete shambles after the game’s first touchdown. The showdown slate on Monday was a continuation of the dick dusting I received on Thursday and…

December 1, 2022