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Week 5 NFL DFS Preview: Jakobi Please
I can’t say last week went well. I landed on Hampton but suffered through a Malik Nabers torn ACL and a Caleb Williams stack. I’m close to folding it in for the season. I ask this a lot, but does anyone run worse? Have you ever seen variance go the wrong way for someone so…
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Week 4 NFL DFS Preview: Nabers Saves My Season
I got completely dick blasted last week. Nearly last place with a Wentz-Jefferson-Nailor stack. At least KOCK said that every time they put the tape on Nailor is open. That really helps my -90% ROI. I’m currently sitting through another loss on the Thursday night game. The Charboner touchdown being called back fucked me out…
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Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Breece and the Geezer
There’s no other way to say this, but last week was one of the worst days on Draftkings yet. Waddle was so fucking bad, Kyler was ok but I can’t believe I hadn’t considered the Rodgers and Fields revenge game setup. That was the easiest play of the week and I blew it. That will…
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The Masters Preview: Iron Man and the Hits
GEOOOOOOORGIA. GEOOOOORGIA. GEOOOOOOORGIA ON MY MIIIIIIIIIND. I’m back and there’s not a fucking chance I’m passing up on a chance at a million this weekend. There are so many story lines this week and I’m jacking it like no other. I’ve barely recovered from last year when Zalatoris withdrew prior to taking a single swing,…
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Wyndham Championship Preview: Shane the Brain
It’s officially over for Justin Thomas. He gurgled his sack for the final time. Let the record show that I gave him one last chance this past week and he completely fucked me over. It sounds like he’s more worried about being on the Ryder Cup team than winning. The amount of double bogeys he’s…
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3M Open Preview: Cam Davis Saves My DK Account
The Open was a complete fucking disaster. I haven’t been on this bad of a run in a long time. I have 42 cents left in my DraftKings account. I’m so fucked. Thankfully, Rory gurgled on his own cock once again, but my entry was swimming with the bots as a 3/6. I somehow landed…
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The Open Preview: Spieth and Leeeeeeverage
Well well well we have arrived at the final major of the year. It seemed like just a few days ago when we were begging for anything in the worst fields of the year during the month of January. I’m going to get it out of the way early. This is an all-time Rory fade…
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Scottish Open Preview: Thomas the Tank
Cam Young, Adam Schenk, and Denny all brought their dicks out, and so did I. That field was so bad so it was difficult to watch any of it regardless of results. A familiar name graces the top of the field this week. One of these times my keyboard is getting snapped in half by…
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John Deere Classic Preview: The Grand Slam Breakfast
I’m back after recovering from what was an absolute fucking disaster at the U.S. Open. I cashed 0 of my lineups as Homa missed the cut and the rest of my plays gurgled their own fucking dicks for 36-72 holes. I’m still so tilted. Good thing this John Deere Classic field isn’t one of the…
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U.S. Open Preview: Homa and Iron Man to a Million
Adrian Meronk cost me another 6/6 this past week. I couldn’t bear to watch after I saw that he missed the cut by one fucking stroke. That tournament didn’t matter I’m already onto the U.S. Open. The only thing that brings me solace is that Rory did not end up winning. The sample of fading…
The Cash God 