The Cash God

Category: PGA

  • Valspar Championship Preview: Gurgling Down Another Denny’s Grand Slam

    Valspar Championship Preview: Gurgling Down Another Denny’s Grand Slam

    The unthinkable happened last week. I had a 6/6 that didn’t cash. Zalatoris had his worst day in the job. It would’ve been better had he just missed the cut and saved me any hope of cashing. The agony of opening the app on Sunday afternoon and seeing a 0 was overwhelming. I’m embarrassed to…

  • 2023 March Madness: Cash God’s Manifesto

    2023 March Madness: Cash God’s Manifesto

    The best time of the year has rolled around once again. There is almost nothing, besides maybe week one of the NFL, that brings me to full mast quicker than the NCAA tournament. The single-elimination gauntlet. My bracket was all-time bad last year. I don’t know what the fuck happened, but it was in the…

  • THE PLAYERS Championship Preview: Will the Thrill and the Cycle of Hits

    THE PLAYERS Championship Preview: Will the Thrill and the Cycle of Hits

    Last week was a complete abomination. Here I was whipping my dick out and swinging it around after I see Rahm’s first round. Little did I know he would proceed to shit bricks for the rest of the tourney. My lineup was already dead when Byeong An withdrew with what they are describing as a…

  • Arnold Palmer Invitational Preview: Fitzmagic and The Year of Rahm

    Arnold Palmer Invitational Preview: Fitzmagic and The Year of Rahm

    I had my 3rd 6/6 single entry on the year last week. I ended up with Lowry, Pendick, Vegas, Jaegerbombs, S. Kim, and Hicock. I got lucky and dodged the Denny dick gurgling because I couldn’t fit him in with Pendick and Lowry, but liked him as a play going into the tournament. Kim had…

  • The Honda Classic Preview: Pendick and the Hits

    The Honda Classic Preview: Pendick and the Hits

    Last week didn’t do my bankroll any favors. I already tweeted about it but I’ll say it again. One week without NFL has turned into a blank NBA lineup, a placeholder NBA lineup, and $25 lit on fire and flushed down a paint-jobbed toilet via the NASCAR Milly Maker. I am fiending for a win…

  • Genesis Invitational Preview: Bigdicki and the Well Water

    Genesis Invitational Preview: Bigdicki and the Well Water

    I stopped looking at my lineup after the cut last week after having 4 players miss the cut. How the fuck is that even possible? It turns out variance does swing like a pendulum. Shane the fucking brain was a complete failure. Fleetwood, Jizzer, and Posten also inexplicably missed the cut. All in all, it…

  • WM Phoenix Open Preview: Shane the Brain

    WM Phoenix Open Preview: Shane the Brain

    I was a Troy Merritt implosion away from another 6/6 last week. I’m not sure what the fuck happened to him, but course history failed me in that instance and I was left with a single-entry lineup fighting for its fucking life to min-cash. The field this week looks stacked. I begin the week with…

  • AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am Preview: Spieth and I Head to Denny’s

    AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am Preview: Spieth and I Head to Denny’s

    Last week Robby Shelton birdied 18 to deliver my second 6/6 single entry of the year. I had absolutely 0 faith in it. Woodcock butchered half of the course and Cock Palmer forgot how to play golf on day 4. I still profited because of Homa’s win, but it could have been a much bigger…

  • Farmers Insurance Open Preview: Homa and the Wood

    Farmers Insurance Open Preview: Homa and the Wood

    I could not weather the storm. Ryders on the storm completely fucked my single-entry lineup with his missed cut. Papa Jon is absolutely dialed in right now he is going to be a very tough fade going forward, despite some inevitable regression. Live look at Papa Jon: It’s time for the plays. Not often will…

  • The American Express Preview: Tom Kim and the Grand Slam

    The American Express Preview: Tom Kim and the Grand Slam

    Last week was one of my best golf results in recent memory. I had a 6/6 single entry in contention all weekend. There is nothing quite like sweating a Matt Kuchar made cut then having him go on a run to remember on the weekend to finish top 10. It’s safe to say I put…