-
Week 1 NFL DFS Preview: Jet Blasts Off
We are fucking back. 2 games in and I’m already down 100%. I was parading around almost all week about not drafting anyone over the age of 26, even going as far as taking an early victory lap after Mark Andrews removed a rib and sucked his own dick on Thursday night. Then Barkley had…
-
2024 March Madness: Cash God’s Manifesto
We have once again arrived at the best time of the year. It’s the most dicks out 2 weeks of gambling. I finished the NFL season in complete shambles and am making my comeback into golf. My bracket last year was complete dogshit. There is no chance that happens again this year. My legacy is…
-
NFL DFS Divisional Round Preview: Back to the Baker Well
I somehow went positive last week. It was the showdown slate that put me over the top. I was a Chase Edmonds touchdown away from winning a million on Monday night. One of these times variance will break my way. As they say, you never know when you will realize your EV. It’s time to…
-
Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Etienne and the Well
All things considered week 1 could have been a lot worse. Don’t get me wrong I got completely dick blasted by the slate, but I didn’t lose it all despite not having as much Tyreek as I needed and having nearly 100% Cooper. There’s no beating around the bush here. Deshaun Watson is fucking terrible.…
-
NFL DFS Week 1 Preview: Cooper and the Super Genius
The time is once again upon us. I barely made it through the PGA season without taking out a fucking loan to cover my weekly losses. It all started with the Zalatoris WD in April. I never recovered. I’m back and it’s time to win it all back in one week. I’m finishing this immediately…
-
U.S. Open Preview: Homa and Iron Man to a Million
Adrian Meronk cost me another 6/6 this past week. I couldn’t bear to watch after I saw that he missed the cut by one fucking stroke. That tournament didn’t matter I’m already onto the U.S. Open. The only thing that brings me solace is that Rory did not end up winning. The sample of fading…
-
Super Bowl Sunday DFS Preview: The Kelce Fade 2.0
Normally in this first paragraph I talk about getting blasted by the slate and variance, but I’m going to put it simply. I’ve taken my cock out on the last 3 slates. These playoff slates have been the best 3 of the year for me and my DraftKings balance is at a 3-year high (non-deposit).…
-
Sanderson Farms Championship Preview: A Grand Slam Breakfast
What the fuck is Sanderson Farms? I will need a full jar of Viagra for this one because this is one of the worst tournaments/fields you’ll ever see. I’m coming off of a good week in PGA despite how bad the Draftkings contests were for the Presidents Cup. I gurgled chalk like there was no…
The Cash God 