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Week 4 NFL DFS Preview: Nabers Saves My Season
I got completely dick blasted last week. Nearly last place with a Wentz-Jefferson-Nailor stack. At least KOCK said that every time they put the tape on Nailor is open. That really helps my -90% ROI. I’m currently sitting through another loss on the Thursday night game. The Charboner touchdown being called back fucked me out…
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Week 1 NFL DFS Preview: Waddle for a Million
The time has come. We are back after what felt like the longest offseason of all time. We survived many things, like Diana Russini getting taken for a fucking backpack ride by Rodgers’ agent and Jerry Jones blasting off like he’s playing fantasy football in a free league. We are welcomed to week 1 by…
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The Masters Preview: Iron Man and the Hits
GEOOOOOOORGIA. GEOOOOORGIA. GEOOOOOOORGIA ON MY MIIIIIIIIIND. I’m back and there’s not a fucking chance I’m passing up on a chance at a million this weekend. There are so many story lines this week and I’m jacking it like no other. I’ve barely recovered from last year when Zalatoris withdrew prior to taking a single swing,…
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2024 March Madness: Cash God’s Manifesto
We have once again arrived at the best time of the year. It’s the most dicks out 2 weeks of gambling. I finished the NFL season in complete shambles and am making my comeback into golf. My bracket last year was complete dogshit. There is no chance that happens again this year. My legacy is…
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NFL DFS Divisional Round Preview: Back to the Baker Well
I somehow went positive last week. It was the showdown slate that put me over the top. I was a Chase Edmonds touchdown away from winning a million on Monday night. One of these times variance will break my way. As they say, you never know when you will realize your EV. It’s time to…
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Week 17 NFL DFS Preview: Swift and the Chalk Guzzle
Last week was nearly a legacy week. I’m going to skip what happened on Sunday. The Monday slate was where my cock started creeping out of my shorts. Zamir White had the game of his life and I was a Pacheco injury away from a full blown helicopter. It’s time for week 17. My favorite…
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Week 16 NFL Preview: Back to the JT Well
Who the fuck thought it was ok to put this Saturday night game only on Peacock? If the first game had gone a little better for my lineup I would have considered paying for the sweat. Fucking Peacock. It’s time for the main slate. I don’t give a fuck what the game total is. It’s…
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NFL DFS Week 14 Preview: Mixon Up a Batch
Last week was somehow good. I had Purdy and Deebo, but completely fucked up the running backs with Bijan and Warren. I’m not sure what was going o with Warren other than a self dick gurgling ceremony. Regardless, I had a good lineup and profited on the week. It’s been a bad year, so it…
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Week 7 NFL DFS Preview: Jones’ Eruption
My day was over long before Fields dislocated his cock or whatever happened last Sunday, but that was the nail in my coffin. I thought it was finally my week when Walker scored an early touchdown and Thielen was fucking blasting off, but it went the other direction very quickly. I’ve been on bad variance…
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Wyndham Championship Preview: Shane the Brain
It’s officially over for Justin Thomas. He gurgled his sack for the final time. Let the record show that I gave him one last chance this past week and he completely fucked me over. It sounds like he’s more worried about being on the Ryder Cup team than winning. The amount of double bogeys he’s…
The Cash God 