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Mexico Open Preview: Byeong Hun and the Year of Rahm
I took one look at this field and almost took the week off. Not only do we have 12k chalk Rahm, but we also have some incredible names in the top two price ranges. I was off last week due to the team format and still recovering from Zalatoris Masters WD. Onto the Mexico Open.…
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Valero Texas Open Preview: Fox and the Geezers
I took the week off last week as a result of the match play setup. I don’t even want to think back on what happened in the tournament before match play. It was a fucking abysmal showing by me. Now we arrive at the final tune-up before the Masters. A field that is one of…
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Valspar Championship Preview: Gurgling Down Another Denny’s Grand Slam
The unthinkable happened last week. I had a 6/6 that didn’t cash. Zalatoris had his worst day in the job. It would’ve been better had he just missed the cut and saved me any hope of cashing. The agony of opening the app on Sunday afternoon and seeing a 0 was overwhelming. I’m embarrassed to…
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2023 March Madness: Cash God’s Manifesto
The best time of the year has rolled around once again. There is almost nothing, besides maybe week one of the NFL, that brings me to full mast quicker than the NCAA tournament. The single-elimination gauntlet. My bracket was all-time bad last year. I don’t know what the fuck happened, but it was in the…
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THE PLAYERS Championship Preview: Will the Thrill and the Cycle of Hits
Last week was a complete abomination. Here I was whipping my dick out and swinging it around after I see Rahm’s first round. Little did I know he would proceed to shit bricks for the rest of the tourney. My lineup was already dead when Byeong An withdrew with what they are describing as a…
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Genesis Invitational Preview: Bigdicki and the Well Water
I stopped looking at my lineup after the cut last week after having 4 players miss the cut. How the fuck is that even possible? It turns out variance does swing like a pendulum. Shane the fucking brain was a complete failure. Fleetwood, Jizzer, and Posten also inexplicably missed the cut. All in all, it…
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Super Bowl Sunday DFS Preview: The Kelce Fade 2.0
Normally in this first paragraph I talk about getting blasted by the slate and variance, but I’m going to put it simply. I’ve taken my cock out on the last 3 slates. These playoff slates have been the best 3 of the year for me and my DraftKings balance is at a 3-year high (non-deposit).…
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Farmers Insurance Open Preview: Homa and the Wood
I could not weather the storm. Ryders on the storm completely fucked my single-entry lineup with his missed cut. Papa Jon is absolutely dialed in right now he is going to be a very tough fade going forward, despite some inevitable regression. Live look at Papa Jon: It’s time for the plays. Not often will…
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Wild Card Sunday NFL DFS Special: Barkley, Hodgins and the Thielen Curtain Call
DraftKings had a few options this weekend, but they didn’t make it a 6-game slate, or even a 5-game Saturday-Sunday slate. The good news with that is that we have more shots on goal. The bad news is that I *could* be losing 3 times as much money this weekend. Or maybe I take my…
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World Wide Technology Championship Preview: Iron Man and the Geezer
This line is going to sound familiar because it happened in NFL too. I stopped looking at my lineup sometime on Saturday because of the 3 fucking missed cuts that stained my screen. I’m grasping at straws for something to blame, but it’s just so difficult to get your dick hard for some of these…
The Cash God 