The Cash God

Tag: Daily Fantasy Football

Week 1 NFL DFS Preview: Jet Blasts Off

We are fucking back. 2 games in and I’m already down 100%. I was parading around almost all week about not drafting anyone over the age of 26, even going as far as taking an early victory lap after Mark Andrews removed a rib and sucked his own dick on Thursday night. Then Barkley had…

September 7, 2024
NFL DFS Week 1 Preview: Cooper and the Super Genius

The time is once again upon us. I barely made it through the PGA season without taking out a fucking loan to cover my weekly losses. It all started with the Zalatoris WD in April. I never recovered. I’m back and it’s time to win it all back in one week. I’m finishing this immediately…

September 8, 2023
NFL Championship Sunday DFS Preview: Skeleton Key Perine and the Chase Fade

I kept it fucking rolling last week until Saturday night at around 1am when I degen-entered the Sunday-only slate. I still ended up with a good week despite losing every single entry on the Sunday-only slate. Another 2 game slate this weekend with only 4 teams left. It’s more important than ever to really pick…

January 27, 2023
NFL Divisional Round DFS Preview: Deebo and I Jag Off

The Saturday and Sunday slates last week were a few of my best of the season. On Saturday I thought I had fucked up so badly with Lawrence throwing 4 picks in the first half. But then, foot by foot, his pants snake crept out of hiding. I’m looking to keep it rolling this weekend…

January 20, 2023
Wild Card Sunday NFL DFS Special: Barkley, Hodgins and the Thielen Curtain Call

DraftKings had a few options this weekend, but they didn’t make it a 6-game slate, or even a 5-game Saturday-Sunday slate. The good news with that is that we have more shots on goal. The bad news is that I *could* be losing 3 times as much money this weekend. Or maybe I take my…

January 14, 2023
Week 18 NFL DFS Main Slate Preview: McCaffrey and the Dustballs

I’d first like to say that it was great to hear some positive news regarding Damar Hamlin on Thursday/Friday and hopefully we continue to hear good things and we hope for the best in the coming days. I don’t have much of a recap other than I had another -95% ROI day on Sunday. I…

January 6, 2023
Week 17 NFL DFS Main Slate Preview: Etienne and the Pendulum

I was coming off one of my worst DFS Sundays of the season on Monday. I then sit back to watch the Colts-Chargers game with two season-long teams needing about 5 points out of Dick Folds to advance. I was relaxed. What Folds do? He proceeds to gurgle his own dick like it’s the last…

December 30, 2022
Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Hurts and the Double RB

I got fucking blasted. The week I play the Miami stack is the week they gurgle their own sacks at their highest cumulative price in a game where they scored 39 as a team. Going down from Amon-Ra St. Brown to Cooper in almost every situation possible was also a mistake. There was no overcoming…

November 14, 2022
Week 10 NFL DFS Preview: Saquon and the Well

It’s been a terrible two-week stretch. This time it wasn’t the chalk hitting, it was Joe fucking Mixon. The only thing more tilting than chalk variance is a running back averaging about 3 yards per carry randomly rushing for 150 and 5 TDs. It didn’t matter how many of my lineups contained Cameraman Pusher, I…

November 11, 2022
Week 9 NFL DFS Preview: Jones and the Sherbert Explosion

I described it in detail in the Monday Night Football write-up, but I lost it all on Sunday. No Kamara and fading the Pollard chalk was enough to cancel out any profit. After looking at the winning lineups I take some solace in the fact that these had to be some of the all-time chalkiest…

November 4, 2022