The Cash God

Tag: daily fantasy sports

Week 4 NFL DFS Preview: I Chase Losses

I lost everything again last week. Bijan had his worst week of the season and Fields was somehow almost worse. I had way too much of those two along with Mike Williams and got completely blasted for all of my entry fees. This has been an all-time bad year. I’m either fucking terrible or variance…

September 29, 2023
John Deere Classic Preview: The Grand Slam Breakfast

I’m back after recovering from what was an absolute fucking disaster at the U.S. Open. I cashed 0 of my lineups as Homa missed the cut and the rest of my plays gurgled their own fucking dicks for 36-72 holes. I’m still so tilted. Good thing this John Deere Classic field isn’t one of the…

July 5, 2023
NFL Championship Sunday DFS Preview: Skeleton Key Perine and the Chase Fade

I kept it fucking rolling last week until Saturday night at around 1am when I degen-entered the Sunday-only slate. I still ended up with a good week despite losing every single entry on the Sunday-only slate. Another 2 game slate this weekend with only 4 teams left. It’s more important than ever to really pick…

January 27, 2023
Week 17 NFL DFS Main Slate Preview: Etienne and the Pendulum

I was coming off one of my worst DFS Sundays of the season on Monday. I then sit back to watch the Colts-Chargers game with two season-long teams needing about 5 points out of Dick Folds to advance. I was relaxed. What Folds do? He proceeds to gurgle his own dick like it’s the last…

December 30, 2022
Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Hurts and the Double RB

I got fucking blasted. The week I play the Miami stack is the week they gurgle their own sacks at their highest cumulative price in a game where they scored 39 as a team. Going down from Amon-Ra St. Brown to Cooper in almost every situation possible was also a mistake. There was no overcoming…

November 14, 2022
World Wide Technology Championship Preview: Iron Man and the Geezer

This line is going to sound familiar because it happened in NFL too. I stopped looking at my lineup sometime on Saturday because of the 3 fucking missed cuts that stained my screen. I’m grasping at straws for something to blame, but it’s just so difficult to get your dick hard for some of these…

November 2, 2022
Butterfield Bermuda Championship Preview: S.H. Kim and the Jaegerbombs

I said this a few weeks ago, but I’m rescinding it now because this one somehow tops it. This is the worst field of all time. I get fucking blasted by NFL this weekend and this is what I open up the PGA section of the app and see. I didn’t think there was a…

October 26, 2022
The CJ Cup Preview: Hovland and the Dustballs

I have a lot of respect for my fellow degens still grinding these golf tournaments with me. I got blasted last week as a result of Bigdicki having the worst round of his life on his home course. Matt Wallace also appeared to forget what a golf club was on his way to a 64th-place…

October 19, 2022