The Cash God

Tag: DFS

  • Week 4 NFL DFS Preview: I Chase Losses

    Week 4 NFL DFS Preview: I Chase Losses

    I lost everything again last week. Bijan had his worst week of the season and Fields was somehow almost worse. I had way too much of those two along with Mike Williams and got completely blasted for all of my entry fees. This has been an all-time bad year. I’m either fucking terrible or variance…

  • Week 3 NFL DFS Preview: Bijan Busts the Slate

    Week 3 NFL DFS Preview: Bijan Busts the Slate

    I fucking lost it all again last week. There’s nothing worse than being in the top 10 for the first hour of the slate and finishing with absolutely nothing. I was full-blown midnight when I looked at my phone after the second first quarter Richardson TD. Richardson going down followed by the ETN icicles was…

  • Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Etienne and the Well

    Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Etienne and the Well

    All things considered week 1 could have been a lot worse. Don’t get me wrong I got completely dick blasted by the slate, but I didn’t lose it all despite not having as much Tyreek as I needed and having nearly 100% Cooper. There’s no beating around the bush here. Deshaun Watson is fucking terrible.…

  • Wyndham Championship Preview: Shane the Brain

    Wyndham Championship Preview: Shane the Brain

    It’s officially over for Justin Thomas. He gurgled his sack for the final time. Let the record show that I gave him one last chance this past week and he completely fucked me over. It sounds like he’s more worried about being on the Ryder Cup team than winning. The amount of double bogeys he’s…

  • 3M Open Preview: Cam Davis Saves My DK Account

    3M Open Preview: Cam Davis Saves My DK Account

    The Open was a complete fucking disaster. I haven’t been on this bad of a run in a long time. I have 42 cents left in my DraftKings account. I’m so fucked. Thankfully, Rory gurgled on his own cock once again, but my entry was swimming with the bots as a 3/6. I somehow landed…

  • The Open Preview: Spieth and Leeeeeeverage

    The Open Preview: Spieth and Leeeeeeverage

    Well well well we have arrived at the final major of the year. It seemed like just a few days ago when we were begging for anything in the worst fields of the year during the month of January. I’m going to get it out of the way early. This is an all-time Rory fade…

  • Scottish Open Preview: Thomas the Tank

    Scottish Open Preview: Thomas the Tank

    Cam Young, Adam Schenk, and Denny all brought their dicks out, and so did I. That field was so bad so it was difficult to watch any of it regardless of results. A familiar name graces the top of the field this week. One of these times my keyboard is getting snapped in half by…

  • John Deere Classic Preview: The Grand Slam Breakfast

    John Deere Classic Preview: The Grand Slam Breakfast

    I’m back after recovering from what was an absolute fucking disaster at the U.S. Open. I cashed 0 of my lineups as Homa missed the cut and the rest of my plays gurgled their own fucking dicks for 36-72 holes. I’m still so tilted. Good thing this John Deere Classic field isn’t one of the…

  • U.S. Open Preview: Homa and Iron Man to a Million

    U.S. Open Preview: Homa and Iron Man to a Million

    Adrian Meronk cost me another 6/6 this past week. I couldn’t bear to watch after I saw that he missed the cut by one fucking stroke. That tournament didn’t matter I’m already onto the U.S. Open. The only thing that brings me solace is that Rory did not end up winning. The sample of fading…

  • RBC Canadian Open Preview: Fitzmagic and the Second Coming of Jason

    RBC Canadian Open Preview: Fitzmagic and the Second Coming of Jason

    By now we have all heard the news and seen all the takes. The only rational take is that the PGA tour players got completely robbed and Jay Monahan folded like a card table. You almost feel bad for Rory. Almost. It doesn’t really matter what happened. The one thing that matters is that we…