The Cash God

Tag: DFS

  • Week 9 NFL DFS Preview: Jones and the Sherbert Explosion

    Week 9 NFL DFS Preview: Jones and the Sherbert Explosion

    I described it in detail in the Monday Night Football write-up, but I lost it all on Sunday. No Kamara and fading the Pollard chalk was enough to cancel out any profit. After looking at the winning lineups I take some solace in the fact that these had to be some of the all-time chalkiest…

  • Butterfield Bermuda Championship Preview: S.H. Kim and the Jaegerbombs

    Butterfield Bermuda Championship Preview: S.H. Kim and the Jaegerbombs

    I said this a few weeks ago, but I’m rescinding it now because this one somehow tops it. This is the worst field of all time. I get fucking blasted by NFL this weekend and this is what I open up the PGA section of the app and see. I didn’t think there was a…

  • The CJ Cup Preview: Hovland and the Dustballs

    The CJ Cup Preview: Hovland and the Dustballs

    I have a lot of respect for my fellow degens still grinding these golf tournaments with me. I got blasted last week as a result of Bigdicki having the worst round of his life on his home course. Matt Wallace also appeared to forget what a golf club was on his way to a 64th-place…

  • ZOZO Championship DFS Preview: Bigdicki and the Ball Strikers

    ZOZO Championship DFS Preview: Bigdicki and the Ball Strikers

    In hindsight, the Cantplay fade looked like absolute dog ass, but at 40% ownership, I think you can make the argument that it wasn’t that bad. His collapse on Sunday was borderline poetic. I was a Denny McCarthy dick gurgling away from a 6/6 single entry, but at least Kim uncoiled his python and finished…

  • Week 5 Preview: Big Mike and the Volcano

    Week 5 Preview: Big Mike and the Volcano

    I liked Geno going into last week, but there’s no way I could have predicted that type of game from him. He was swinging his cock around the field like he was back in West Virginia circa 2012. I went a little heavier on Lamar than I should have and faded Hockencock so that ultimately…

  • Shriners Children’s Open Preview: Kim and the Well

    Shriners Children’s Open Preview: Kim and the Well

    I’ve been playing single entry in these shit PGA tournaments. This week was fucking horrific, but I like how the lineup ended up ownership-wise. I stayed away from the Cock Burns and Montgomery chalk, but unfortunately, the Montgomery chalk hit and he finished 9th. I also had 3 MCs (Posten, Mullinax, and Endycock) in my…

  • Monday Night Football Preview: Unleash Jake Ferguson

    Monday Night Football Preview: Unleash Jake Ferguson

    I forgot what it was like to win multiple weeks in a row. PGA DFS did an absolute fucking paint job on my bank account, but now we are cooking with gas in NFL through 3 weeks (outside of the mushroom stamp that was put onto my face in week 1). Despite going heavy Mahomes,…

  • Week 3 Preview: Chase and the Long Spray

    Week 3 Preview: Chase and the Long Spray

    It’s a little early in the year for the slate to flow through me like it did this past week, but I’d like to report that the pants I wore on Sunday look as if a steel fucking pole the shape and size of a Pringles can got strapped to a firework and blasted through…

  • President’s Cup Preview: Scheffler’s Wood

    President’s Cup Preview: Scheffler’s Wood

    I made a single-entry lineup for last week’s absolute dog shit tournament and it was definitely one of my worst. I had 4 MCs and the Cash God Guarantee sucked his own sack. Meanwhile, Danny Willet on 18 looked like a random guy at your local course 15 beers deep trying to finish the round…

  • Week 2 Preview: Dick Chubb’s Eruption

    Week 2 Preview: Dick Chubb’s Eruption

    Week 1 was fucking terrible for me. Truly one of the worst weeks of all time. I take solace in the fact that it seems like the chalk hit, which means my contrarian-focused GPP lineups would be complete shit. That’s what I call variance. To top it all off on Sunday afternoon (I was obviously…