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3M Open Preview: Cam Davis Saves My DK Account
The Open was a complete fucking disaster. I haven’t been on this bad of a run in a long time. I have 42 cents left in my DraftKings account. I’m so fucked. Thankfully, Rory gurgled on his own cock once again, but my entry was swimming with the bots as a 3/6. I somehow landed…
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John Deere Classic Preview: The Grand Slam Breakfast
I’m back after recovering from what was an absolute fucking disaster at the U.S. Open. I cashed 0 of my lineups as Homa missed the cut and the rest of my plays gurgled their own fucking dicks for 36-72 holes. I’m still so tilted. Good thing this John Deere Classic field isn’t one of the…
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RBC Canadian Open Preview: Fitzmagic and the Second Coming of Jason
By now we have all heard the news and seen all the takes. The only rational take is that the PGA tour players got completely robbed and Jay Monahan folded like a card table. You almost feel bad for Rory. Almost. It doesn’t really matter what happened. The one thing that matters is that we…
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PGA Championship Preview: Always Play the Hits
Holy shit I wasn’t sure if my bankroll would make it to another major. The past month and a half have been so fucking bad. I’ve lost every single week. What’s even more tilting is as I scroll through this week’s field I see a prominent name missing. Where the fuck is Jason Cockrack? That…
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AT&T Byron Nelson Preview: K.H. Lee Saves My Balance
I called it early last week after Luke List became Luke Lost. SE Kim didn’t help. I have a hard time watching the rest of these random tournaments after my lineups are completely dead. The field this week actually has a few bigger names, but it’s AT&T Byron Nelson so I’m tempering my expectations. I…
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Wells Fargo Championship Preview: Mitchell, the Well and the Geezer
Hank Ligbofa had the worst day at his job last week and it made me swim with the fucking bots all weekend. I could hardly look. This week, we begin with a tradition unlike any other. The clicking of the exclude button on Rory. It’s been good to me so far this year especially during…
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The Masters Preview: Cam Smith and the Return of Jason
GEOOOOOORGIAAAAAA GEOOOOORGIA GEOOOOORGIA ON MY MIIIIIIIND. The time has finally come. After treading through some absolutely ass shit fields and tournaments we have finally arrived at the first major of the year. I’m not even going to mention last week’s results. Ryan Fox let me down in the biggest way anyone has all year. I…
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Arnold Palmer Invitational Preview: Fitzmagic and The Year of Rahm
I had my 3rd 6/6 single entry on the year last week. I ended up with Lowry, Pendick, Vegas, Jaegerbombs, S. Kim, and Hicock. I got lucky and dodged the Denny dick gurgling because I couldn’t fit him in with Pendick and Lowry, but liked him as a play going into the tournament. Kim had…
The Cash God 