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Week 1 NFL DFS Preview: Jet Blasts Off
We are fucking back. 2 games in and I’m already down 100%. I was parading around almost all week about not drafting anyone over the age of 26, even going as far as taking an early victory lap after Mark Andrews removed a rib and sucked his own dick on Thursday night. Then Barkley had…
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NFL DFS Divisional Round Preview: Back to the Baker Well
I somehow went positive last week. It was the showdown slate that put me over the top. I was a Chase Edmonds touchdown away from winning a million on Monday night. One of these times variance will break my way. As they say, you never know when you will realize your EV. It’s time to…
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The Open Preview: Spieth and Leeeeeeverage
Well well well we have arrived at the final major of the year. It seemed like just a few days ago when we were begging for anything in the worst fields of the year during the month of January. I’m going to get it out of the way early. This is an all-time Rory fade…
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Scottish Open Preview: Thomas the Tank
Cam Young, Adam Schenk, and Denny all brought their dicks out, and so did I. That field was so bad so it was difficult to watch any of it regardless of results. A familiar name graces the top of the field this week. One of these times my keyboard is getting snapped in half by…
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John Deere Classic Preview: The Grand Slam Breakfast
I’m back after recovering from what was an absolute fucking disaster at the U.S. Open. I cashed 0 of my lineups as Homa missed the cut and the rest of my plays gurgled their own fucking dicks for 36-72 holes. I’m still so tilted. Good thing this John Deere Classic field isn’t one of the…
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U.S. Open Preview: Homa and Iron Man to a Million
Adrian Meronk cost me another 6/6 this past week. I couldn’t bear to watch after I saw that he missed the cut by one fucking stroke. That tournament didn’t matter I’m already onto the U.S. Open. The only thing that brings me solace is that Rory did not end up winning. The sample of fading…
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Super Bowl Sunday DFS Preview: The Kelce Fade 2.0
Normally in this first paragraph I talk about getting blasted by the slate and variance, but I’m going to put it simply. I’ve taken my cock out on the last 3 slates. These playoff slates have been the best 3 of the year for me and my DraftKings balance is at a 3-year high (non-deposit).…
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Wild Card Sunday NFL DFS Special: Barkley, Hodgins and the Thielen Curtain Call
DraftKings had a few options this weekend, but they didn’t make it a 6-game slate, or even a 5-game Saturday-Sunday slate. The good news with that is that we have more shots on goal. The bad news is that I *could* be losing 3 times as much money this weekend. Or maybe I take my…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Stevenson and Showtime
I had my best Sunday of the season around the time Evan Engram whipped out the basilisk for 11-162-2. I didn’t know he had that in him, but I truly have played him around 80% of the weeks this year so it was good to finally get some of that money back. Going 75% Goff…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Olave and Double RB
Variance must be worse than ever this season. My stacks were so fucking bad. I even slipped a Rodgers lineup in the milly and that was a massive mistake. DeShaun Watson looked like complete ass shit, but the Browns’ defense somehow got 30 points, breaking the slate. I’m not sure how many more weeks like…
The Cash God 