-
Week 15 NFL Main Slate DFS Preview: Big Mike and the Curtain Call
Last week was somehow my best week of the year. No massive wins, but finally some nice profit. I dodged some of the bad chalk and ended up with a lot of Evan Engram on his dicks out game of the year. I was stoking that volcano with dollars pretty much every week of the…
-
Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Stevenson and Showtime
I had my best Sunday of the season around the time Evan Engram whipped out the basilisk for 11-162-2. I didn’t know he had that in him, but I truly have played him around 80% of the weeks this year so it was good to finally get some of that money back. Going 75% Goff…
-
Week 14 Preview: Sanders and the Bad Stack
There is nothing worse than going into a week thinking you read the slate like a book only to see an absolute 0 at the end of the day. We finally had some good games and I performed a dick-gurgling routine on myself with Lawrence, Mahomes, and Herbert. I’m not sure how many times I…
-
Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Olave and Double RB
Variance must be worse than ever this season. My stacks were so fucking bad. I even slipped a Rodgers lineup in the milly and that was a massive mistake. DeShaun Watson looked like complete ass shit, but the Browns’ defense somehow got 30 points, breaking the slate. I’m not sure how many more weeks like…
-
Week 13 NFL DFS Preview: Kelce and the Chubb
There is a serious chance I need to retire from showdowns. I am so fucking bad. Every time I enter, I am convinced I’ve found the nuts only to be in complete shambles after the game’s first touchdown. The showdown slate on Monday was a continuation of the dick dusting I received on Thursday and…
-
Monday Night Football DFS Preview: The Freier and the D
I faded Garrett Wilson when I saw a 30%+ ownership projection and he proceeded to remove his dick from his shorts and swing it around at less than half of that. Mike White appears to be the real deal and they play the Vikings next week so I’ll be noting that for the main slate.…
-
Week 12 NFL DFS Preview: Hide the Cameraman
After getting almost last on Monday after the Rondale Moore injury, it became worse on Thursday. Pollard was fucking terrible and I ended up with a few too many double Bills RB. That alone should be enough to automatically deactivate my DraftKings account. I had no faith in the Kirk stacks without Darrisaw and against…
-
Monday Night Football DFS Preview: Moore Colt
I opened the app at about 12:45 central and immediately had my pants split at the crotch seeing that I was in first. I then got completely fucked by the second half of the early games and the late games. Playing Ben Skowronek, Kenyan Drake, and Brian Robinson was so fucking bad I deserved my…
-
Monday Night Football Preview: Frankenstein and the Dart
The slate wasn’t really that bad for me until DK Metcalf got injured and it all started crumbling. Shortly after that Josh Jacobs unveiled his foot-long python on the Texans’ defense and the day was over for me. Somehow the Raiders scored 38 points and Davante Adams didn’t score a touchdown. The highlight of the…
-
Monday Night Football Preview: Russ and Hackkjob Finally Cook
I don’t know what else to say other than the Kirk stacks were a fucking terrible idea. The Dolphins’ offense was limper than Matt Ryan’s penis elbow so there was absolutely no speeding up the pace of the game, despite the Vikings’ defense being possibly the worst in the league. Even the Bears scored 20…
The Cash God 