The Cash God

Tag: fantasy football

  • Week 17 NFL DFS Preview: Swift and the Chalk Guzzle

    Week 17 NFL DFS Preview: Swift and the Chalk Guzzle

    Last week was nearly a legacy week. I’m going to skip what happened on Sunday. The Monday slate was where my cock started creeping out of my shorts. Zamir White had the game of his life and I was a Pacheco injury away from a full blown helicopter. It’s time for week 17. My favorite…

  • Week 16 NFL Preview: Back to the JT Well

    Week 16 NFL Preview: Back to the JT Well

    Who the fuck thought it was ok to put this Saturday night game only on Peacock? If the first game had gone a little better for my lineup I would have considered paying for the sweat. Fucking Peacock. It’s time for the main slate. I don’t give a fuck what the game total is. It’s…

  • NFL DFS Week 14 Preview: Mixon Up a Batch

    NFL DFS Week 14 Preview: Mixon Up a Batch

    Last week was somehow good. I had Purdy and Deebo, but completely fucked up the running backs with Bijan and Warren. I’m not sure what was going o with Warren other than a self dick gurgling ceremony. Regardless, I had a good lineup and profited on the week. It’s been a bad year, so it…

  • Week 13 NFL DFS Preview: Back to the Bijan Well

    Week 13 NFL DFS Preview: Back to the Bijan Well

    I thought I’d stumbled upon the nuts last week when I saw the fucking Gardner snake running in a touchdown and Pittman going wild. The snake cooled down and somehow only ended with 15. My dick was creeping out of my pants, somehow only culminating in a min cash. What the fuck. I’m seeing the…

  • Thanksgiving Day Special: Frankenstein Gobbles

    Thanksgiving Day Special: Frankenstein Gobbles

    I somehow cashed some entries last week, including the Sunday Night Showdown by .01 of a point. Despite that I still fucking deposited this week. I see the ball well on Thanksgiving Slates and have always liked them the most. This is a Cash God Legacy slate tomorrow. It’s time for Jordan Love. I think…

  • Week 11 NFL DFS Preview: ASB and the Game Stack

    Week 11 NFL DFS Preview: ASB and the Game Stack

    I was at least cashing all day last week but then got the rug pulled at the last moment when the Chargers-Lions game went off. I’m so fucking tilted at the Jags offense. Holy fucking shit how do you get blasted that badly? When Aiyuk scored that first touchdown I was thinking I’d done it…

  • Week 9 NFL DFS Preview: Olave and the Squeaky Wheel

    Week 9 NFL DFS Preview: Olave and the Squeaky Wheel

    Last week was one of the all time best. Lamb scored the most points on the slate at 5% ownership. I was crotch chopping in the living room after the second TD and it only got better as the game went on. This is around the point in the season where the slate just flows…

  • Week 3 NFL DFS Preview: Bijan Busts the Slate

    Week 3 NFL DFS Preview: Bijan Busts the Slate

    I fucking lost it all again last week. There’s nothing worse than being in the top 10 for the first hour of the slate and finishing with absolutely nothing. I was full-blown midnight when I looked at my phone after the second first quarter Richardson TD. Richardson going down followed by the ETN icicles was…

  • Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Etienne and the Well

    Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Etienne and the Well

    All things considered week 1 could have been a lot worse. Don’t get me wrong I got completely dick blasted by the slate, but I didn’t lose it all despite not having as much Tyreek as I needed and having nearly 100% Cooper. There’s no beating around the bush here. Deshaun Watson is fucking terrible.…

  • Super Bowl Sunday DFS Preview: The Kelce Fade 2.0

    Super Bowl Sunday DFS Preview: The Kelce Fade 2.0

    Normally in this first paragraph I talk about getting blasted by the slate and variance, but I’m going to put it simply. I’ve taken my cock out on the last 3 slates. These playoff slates have been the best 3 of the year for me and my DraftKings balance is at a 3-year high (non-deposit).…