The Cash God

Tag: fantasy football

  • Monday Night Football Preview: Frankenstein and the Dart

    Monday Night Football Preview: Frankenstein and the Dart

    The slate wasn’t really that bad for me until DK Metcalf got injured and it all started crumbling. Shortly after that Josh Jacobs unveiled his foot-long python on the Texans’ defense and the day was over for me. Somehow the Raiders scored 38 points and Davante Adams didn’t score a touchdown. The highlight of the…

  • Monday Night Football Preview: Russ and Hackkjob Finally Cook

    Monday Night Football Preview: Russ and Hackkjob Finally Cook

    I don’t know what else to say other than the Kirk stacks were a fucking terrible idea. The Dolphins’ offense was limper than Matt Ryan’s penis elbow so there was absolutely no speeding up the pace of the game, despite the Vikings’ defense being possibly the worst in the league. Even the Bears scored 20…

  • Week 6 NFL DFS Preview: Action Jackson and the TE Hogs

    Week 6 NFL DFS Preview: Action Jackson and the TE Hogs

    Chalk James Robinson and the 22% Cowboys D drained my profit along with my dick faster than I thought was humanly possible on Sunday afternoon. I had a few Josh Allen to Gabe Davis/Shakir lineups, but went way too heavy on Herbert to Mike Williams and completely faded the Bucs-Falcons game where Uncle Fourskin left…

  • Monday Night Football Preview: JuJu Unveils and the Kelce Fade

    Monday Night Football Preview: JuJu Unveils and the Kelce Fade

    If there was any doubt that games are rigged for Brady, look no further than that “roughing the passer” call that cost the Falcons the fucking game. Brady got swung down like a flaccid piece of lettuce, but he had the ball the entire time. I don’t know how you watch another game as a…

  • Week 5 Preview: Big Mike and the Volcano

    Week 5 Preview: Big Mike and the Volcano

    I liked Geno going into last week, but there’s no way I could have predicted that type of game from him. He was swinging his cock around the field like he was back in West Virginia circa 2012. I went a little heavier on Lamar than I should have and faded Hockencock so that ultimately…

  • Week 4 Preview: Taylor and the Paint Job

    Week 4 Preview: Taylor and the Paint Job

    I mentioned it in the Monday recap, but I’ll say it again because with variance you never know how many net positive weeks you’ll get. I finally dragged my dick on the slate last week. On my initial lineup run, I ended up with 75% Mack Hollins because of how expensive the Mahomes–Kelce stacks were…

  • Monday Night Football Preview: Unleash Jake Ferguson

    Monday Night Football Preview: Unleash Jake Ferguson

    I forgot what it was like to win multiple weeks in a row. PGA DFS did an absolute fucking paint job on my bank account, but now we are cooking with gas in NFL through 3 weeks (outside of the mushroom stamp that was put onto my face in week 1). Despite going heavy Mahomes,…