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Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Etienne and the Well
All things considered week 1 could have been a lot worse. Don’t get me wrong I got completely dick blasted by the slate, but I didn’t lose it all despite not having as much Tyreek as I needed and having nearly 100% Cooper. There’s no beating around the bush here. Deshaun Watson is fucking terrible.…
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Super Bowl Sunday DFS Preview: The Kelce Fade 2.0
Normally in this first paragraph I talk about getting blasted by the slate and variance, but I’m going to put it simply. I’ve taken my cock out on the last 3 slates. These playoff slates have been the best 3 of the year for me and my DraftKings balance is at a 3-year high (non-deposit).…
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Monday Night Football DFS Preview: The Freier and the D
I faded Garrett Wilson when I saw a 30%+ ownership projection and he proceeded to remove his dick from his shorts and swing it around at less than half of that. Mike White appears to be the real deal and they play the Vikings next week so I’ll be noting that for the main slate.…
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President’s Cup Preview: Scheffler’s Wood
I made a single-entry lineup for last week’s absolute dog shit tournament and it was definitely one of my worst. I had 4 MCs and the Cash God Guarantee sucked his own sack. Meanwhile, Danny Willet on 18 looked like a random guy at your local course 15 beers deep trying to finish the round…
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Week 2 Preview: Dick Chubb’s Eruption
Week 1 was fucking terrible for me. Truly one of the worst weeks of all time. I take solace in the fact that it seems like the chalk hit, which means my contrarian-focused GPP lineups would be complete shit. That’s what I call variance. To top it all off on Sunday afternoon (I was obviously…
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Fortinet Championship Preview: Hideki’s Steele Pole
The PGA is back and holy shit this has to be one of the worst fields I’ve ever seen. When Taylor Pendrith is the 6th highest priced guy it’s clear what type of field we are working with. It’s extremely difficult to get your dick hard for anything like this, but there are GPPs to…
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Week 1 Preview: Moore Spray Paint
I can finally stop jacking it to Scott Hanson red zone highlight reels. The season is upon us. There wasn’t a bank account on earth that needed NFL DFS to start more than mine. I was getting completely dick blasted every fucking week by PGA. All variance of course. My response to anyone that asks…
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Tour Championship Preview: Thomas and the Hole in my Wall
The Cash God is back. Just in time for NFL. I min cashed the big fucking papa. There is nothing better than seeing that bag of money on the Draftkings app even if it was a net loss of a week. Bigdicki and Spieth started out hot but gurgled a bit on Saturday and Sunday…
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BMW Championship Preview: Spieth and the Bigdicki WD Narrative
Steele pole fucked my lineup. I still ended up almost cashing despite a 5/6. I would have taken a min cash at this point. This is the worst streak of my life. I think we start to question the process a little, but playing a single lineup makes the margin for error thinner than my…
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FedEx St. Jude Championship Preview: Hovland’s Steele Pole
Webb Simpson needs to rename his daughter. He disgraced her name with his performance last week at the Wyndham Championship. The number of golfers that WD when they are a piece of my lineup is the worst fucking variance imaginable. Another 4/6. I am chomping at the bit for the NFL to start. Playing preseason…
The Cash God 