-
NFL DFS Preview Week 4: Higgins Busts the Slate
Last week was once again all time bad. I had to take a moment before the Sunday night game to think about entering, sitting at a 0% ROI through 3 main slates and multiple showdowns. But then I fired away. You never know when variance will finally be on your side. It’s time for the…
-
NFL DFS Divisional Round Preview: Back to the Baker Well
I somehow went positive last week. It was the showdown slate that put me over the top. I was a Chase Edmonds touchdown away from winning a million on Monday night. One of these times variance will break my way. As they say, you never know when you will realize your EV. It’s time to…
-
NFL DFS Week 1 Preview: Cooper and the Super Genius
The time is once again upon us. I barely made it through the PGA season without taking out a fucking loan to cover my weekly losses. It all started with the Zalatoris WD in April. I never recovered. I’m back and it’s time to win it all back in one week. I’m finishing this immediately…
-
NFL Championship Sunday DFS Preview: Skeleton Key Perine and the Chase Fade
I kept it fucking rolling last week until Saturday night at around 1am when I degen-entered the Sunday-only slate. I still ended up with a good week despite losing every single entry on the Sunday-only slate. Another 2 game slate this weekend with only 4 teams left. It’s more important than ever to really pick…
-
NFL Divisional Round DFS Preview: Deebo and I Jag Off
The Saturday and Sunday slates last week were a few of my best of the season. On Saturday I thought I had fucked up so badly with Lawrence throwing 4 picks in the first half. But then, foot by foot, his pants snake crept out of hiding. I’m looking to keep it rolling this weekend…
-
Week 11 NFL DFS Preview: Gabe Davis and the Dome
Bears GM, Tank Commander Poles woke up with the biggest erection of his life on Monday morning after seeing Fields blast off and lose (salvaging their top 5 pick odds). Fields is clearly in play every week now that HC Eberflus has removed his head from his own anus. Nothing went egregiously wrong last week.…
-
Week 10 NFL DFS Preview: Saquon and the Well
It’s been a terrible two-week stretch. This time it wasn’t the chalk hitting, it was Joe fucking Mixon. The only thing more tilting than chalk variance is a running back averaging about 3 yards per carry randomly rushing for 150 and 5 TDs. It didn’t matter how many of my lineups contained Cameraman Pusher, I…
-
Week 9 NFL DFS Preview: Jones and the Sherbert Explosion
I described it in detail in the Monday Night Football write-up, but I lost it all on Sunday. No Kamara and fading the Pollard chalk was enough to cancel out any profit. After looking at the winning lineups I take some solace in the fact that these had to be some of the all-time chalkiest…
-
Week 5 Preview: Big Mike and the Volcano
I liked Geno going into last week, but there’s no way I could have predicted that type of game from him. He was swinging his cock around the field like he was back in West Virginia circa 2012. I went a little heavier on Lamar than I should have and faded Hockencock so that ultimately…
-
Monday Night Football Preview: The Rams Onslaught
My Lamar double stacks and zero Hockencock were the nails in the coffin to my chances of profiting on Sunday. Variance caught up to me a bit with none of my Geno stacks having Hockencock as the comeback. That’s inexcusably bad, but I couldn’t stomach the high ownership and saw Goff relentlessly feed Reynolds last…
The Cash God 