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Week 7 NFL DFS Preview: Jones’ Eruption
My day was over long before Fields dislocated his cock or whatever happened last Sunday, but that was the nail in my coffin. I thought it was finally my week when Walker scored an early touchdown and Thielen was fucking blasting off, but it went the other direction very quickly. I’ve been on bad variance…
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Week 4 NFL DFS Preview: I Chase Losses
I lost everything again last week. Bijan had his worst week of the season and Fields was somehow almost worse. I had way too much of those two along with Mike Williams and got completely blasted for all of my entry fees. This has been an all-time bad year. I’m either fucking terrible or variance…
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Week 3 NFL DFS Preview: Bijan Busts the Slate
I fucking lost it all again last week. There’s nothing worse than being in the top 10 for the first hour of the slate and finishing with absolutely nothing. I was full-blown midnight when I looked at my phone after the second first quarter Richardson TD. Richardson going down followed by the ETN icicles was…
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Week 2 NFL DFS Preview: Etienne and the Well
All things considered week 1 could have been a lot worse. Don’t get me wrong I got completely dick blasted by the slate, but I didn’t lose it all despite not having as much Tyreek as I needed and having nearly 100% Cooper. There’s no beating around the bush here. Deshaun Watson is fucking terrible.…
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NFL DFS Week 1 Preview: Cooper and the Super Genius
The time is once again upon us. I barely made it through the PGA season without taking out a fucking loan to cover my weekly losses. It all started with the Zalatoris WD in April. I never recovered. I’m back and it’s time to win it all back in one week. I’m finishing this immediately…
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3M Open Preview: Cam Davis Saves My DK Account
The Open was a complete fucking disaster. I haven’t been on this bad of a run in a long time. I have 42 cents left in my DraftKings account. I’m so fucked. Thankfully, Rory gurgled on his own cock once again, but my entry was swimming with the bots as a 3/6. I somehow landed…
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U.S. Open Preview: Homa and Iron Man to a Million
Adrian Meronk cost me another 6/6 this past week. I couldn’t bear to watch after I saw that he missed the cut by one fucking stroke. That tournament didn’t matter I’m already onto the U.S. Open. The only thing that brings me solace is that Rory did not end up winning. The sample of fading…
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2023 March Madness: Cash God’s Manifesto
The best time of the year has rolled around once again. There is almost nothing, besides maybe week one of the NFL, that brings me to full mast quicker than the NCAA tournament. The single-elimination gauntlet. My bracket was all-time bad last year. I don’t know what the fuck happened, but it was in the…
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Super Bowl Sunday DFS Preview: The Kelce Fade 2.0
Normally in this first paragraph I talk about getting blasted by the slate and variance, but I’m going to put it simply. I’ve taken my cock out on the last 3 slates. These playoff slates have been the best 3 of the year for me and my DraftKings balance is at a 3-year high (non-deposit).…
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Week 4 Preview: Taylor and the Paint Job
I mentioned it in the Monday recap, but I’ll say it again because with variance you never know how many net positive weeks you’ll get. I finally dragged my dick on the slate last week. On my initial lineup run, I ended up with 75% Mack Hollins because of how expensive the Mahomes–Kelce stacks were…
The Cash God 