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Wyndham Championship Preview: Shane the Brain
It’s officially over for Justin Thomas. He gurgled his sack for the final time. Let the record show that I gave him one last chance this past week and he completely fucked me over. It sounds like he’s more worried about being on the Ryder Cup team than winning. The amount of double bogeys he’s…
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3M Open Preview: Cam Davis Saves My DK Account
The Open was a complete fucking disaster. I haven’t been on this bad of a run in a long time. I have 42 cents left in my DraftKings account. I’m so fucked. Thankfully, Rory gurgled on his own cock once again, but my entry was swimming with the bots as a 3/6. I somehow landed…
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The Open Preview: Spieth and Leeeeeeverage
Well well well we have arrived at the final major of the year. It seemed like just a few days ago when we were begging for anything in the worst fields of the year during the month of January. I’m going to get it out of the way early. This is an all-time Rory fade…
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John Deere Classic Preview: The Grand Slam Breakfast
I’m back after recovering from what was an absolute fucking disaster at the U.S. Open. I cashed 0 of my lineups as Homa missed the cut and the rest of my plays gurgled their own fucking dicks for 36-72 holes. I’m still so tilted. Good thing this John Deere Classic field isn’t one of the…
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RBC Canadian Open Preview: Fitzmagic and the Second Coming of Jason
By now we have all heard the news and seen all the takes. The only rational take is that the PGA tour players got completely robbed and Jay Monahan folded like a card table. You almost feel bad for Rory. Almost. It doesn’t really matter what happened. The one thing that matters is that we…
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The Memorial Tournament Preview: Thomas and the Big Bounce Back
This past week was a fucking disaster. I was swimming with the bots, taking almost last. Somehow Spieth, along with 3 others in my lineup, missed the cut. I need a win in the worst way this week. We begin the week with a tradition unlike any other. Clicking the button to exclude Rory. I…
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PGA Championship Preview: Always Play the Hits
Holy shit I wasn’t sure if my bankroll would make it to another major. The past month and a half have been so fucking bad. I’ve lost every single week. What’s even more tilting is as I scroll through this week’s field I see a prominent name missing. Where the fuck is Jason Cockrack? That…
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Wells Fargo Championship Preview: Mitchell, the Well and the Geezer
Hank Ligbofa had the worst day at his job last week and it made me swim with the fucking bots all weekend. I could hardly look. This week, we begin with a tradition unlike any other. The clicking of the exclude button on Rory. It’s been good to me so far this year especially during…
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Mexico Open Preview: Byeong Hun and the Year of Rahm
I took one look at this field and almost took the week off. Not only do we have 12k chalk Rahm, but we also have some incredible names in the top two price ranges. I was off last week due to the team format and still recovering from Zalatoris Masters WD. Onto the Mexico Open.…
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RBC Heritage Preview: Shane the Brain and the Recurring Well
My results last week were an absolute abomination. I went into the slate thinking it was mine to lose only to have Willy Z withdraw prior to the first round, eliminating over 50% of my lineups. Will I learn from this and not go so heavy on one golfer? No. Will I ever play Zalatoris…
The Cash God 