The Cash God

Tag: golf picks

  • The Masters Preview: Cam Smith and the Return of Jason

    The Masters Preview: Cam Smith and the Return of Jason

    GEOOOOOORGIAAAAAA GEOOOOORGIA GEOOOOORGIA ON MY MIIIIIIIND. The time has finally come. After treading through some absolutely ass shit fields and tournaments we have finally arrived at the first major of the year. I’m not even going to mention last week’s results. Ryan Fox let me down in the biggest way anyone has all year. I…

  • Valero Texas Open Preview: Fox and the Geezers

    Valero Texas Open Preview: Fox and the Geezers

    I took the week off last week as a result of the match play setup. I don’t even want to think back on what happened in the tournament before match play. It was a fucking abysmal showing by me. Now we arrive at the final tune-up before the Masters. A field that is one of…

  • WM Phoenix Open Preview: Shane the Brain

    WM Phoenix Open Preview: Shane the Brain

    I was a Troy Merritt implosion away from another 6/6 last week. I’m not sure what the fuck happened to him, but course history failed me in that instance and I was left with a single-entry lineup fighting for its fucking life to min-cash. The field this week looks stacked. I begin the week with…

  • Farmers Insurance Open Preview: Homa and the Wood

    Farmers Insurance Open Preview: Homa and the Wood

    I could not weather the storm. Ryders on the storm completely fucked my single-entry lineup with his missed cut. Papa Jon is absolutely dialed in right now he is going to be a very tough fade going forward, despite some inevitable regression. Live look at Papa Jon: It’s time for the plays. Not often will…

  • Houston Open Preview: Wise and Scheffler’s Quest

    Houston Open Preview: Wise and Scheffler’s Quest

    I’m slamming the Viagra for these golf slates. There’s no option. I just missed a min-cash on my single entry last week as a result of S.H. Kim performing a dick-gurgling routine on himself. Onto another horrific field. The new year cannot come quick enough for these golf events. S.H. and I both gurgling on…

  • Butterfield Bermuda Championship Preview: S.H. Kim and the Jaegerbombs

    Butterfield Bermuda Championship Preview: S.H. Kim and the Jaegerbombs

    I said this a few weeks ago, but I’m rescinding it now because this one somehow tops it. This is the worst field of all time. I get fucking blasted by NFL this weekend and this is what I open up the PGA section of the app and see. I didn’t think there was a…

  • Sanderson Farms Championship Preview: A Grand Slam Breakfast

    Sanderson Farms Championship Preview: A Grand Slam Breakfast

    What the fuck is Sanderson Farms? I will need a full jar of Viagra for this one because this is one of the worst tournaments/fields you’ll ever see. I’m coming off of a good week in PGA despite how bad the Draftkings contests were for the Presidents Cup. I gurgled chalk like there was no…