The Cash God

Tag: Golf

  • President’s Cup Preview: Scheffler’s Wood

    President’s Cup Preview: Scheffler’s Wood

    I made a single-entry lineup for last week’s absolute dog shit tournament and it was definitely one of my worst. I had 4 MCs and the Cash God Guarantee sucked his own sack. Meanwhile, Danny Willet on 18 looked like a random guy at your local course 15 beers deep trying to finish the round…

  • Fortinet Championship Preview: Hideki’s Steele Pole

    Fortinet Championship Preview: Hideki’s Steele Pole

    The PGA is back and holy shit this has to be one of the worst fields I’ve ever seen. When Taylor Pendrith is the 6th highest priced guy it’s clear what type of field we are working with. It’s extremely difficult to get your dick hard for anything like this, but there are GPPs to…

  • Tour Championship Preview: Thomas and the Hole in my Wall

    Tour Championship Preview: Thomas and the Hole in my Wall

    The Cash God is back. Just in time for NFL. I min cashed the big fucking papa. There is nothing better than seeing that bag of money on the Draftkings app even if it was a net loss of a week. Bigdicki and Spieth started out hot but gurgled a bit on Saturday and Sunday…

  • BMW Championship Preview: Spieth and the Bigdicki WD Narrative

    BMW Championship Preview: Spieth and the Bigdicki WD Narrative

    Steele pole fucked my lineup. I still ended up almost cashing despite a 5/6. I would have taken a min cash at this point. This is the worst streak of my life. I think we start to question the process a little, but playing a single lineup makes the margin for error thinner than my…

  • FedEx St. Jude Championship Preview: Hovland’s Steele Pole

    FedEx St. Jude Championship Preview: Hovland’s Steele Pole

    Webb Simpson needs to rename his daughter. He disgraced her name with his performance last week at the Wyndham Championship. The number of golfers that WD when they are a piece of my lineup is the worst fucking variance imaginable. Another 4/6. I am chomping at the bit for the NFL to start. Playing preseason…

  • Wyndham Championship Preview: Webby and the Thrill

    Wyndham Championship Preview: Webby and the Thrill

    My single entry went 4/6. Denny McCarthy and I both gurgled our own fucking nutsacks all weekend. I’m not sure what was worse, him missing the cut or me playing Frittelli. The fact that he shot over par with the way the course played is an embarrassment to the sport. In other news, Cockrack is…

  • Rocket Mortgage Classic Preview: Gurgling Down the Denny’s

    Rocket Mortgage Classic Preview: Gurgling Down the Denny’s

    This past week ended early for me. This time it wasn’t paint on the club it was “wrist soreness”. It might go without saying what that is from but I was hearing Bigdicki almost broke the record for times whacking it in a single day. That’ll leave anyone’s wrist fucked up so I completely understand.…

  • 3M Open Preview: Hadwin and the Pelter

    3M Open Preview: Hadwin and the Pelter

    I finally saw some green on Draftkings this past week. Holy shit it was a bad run. Let me first start by saying that Brooks Koepka should never have more than 0% ownership going forward. If there was ever a time for him to not act like a limp, dead penis it was this past…

  • The Open Preview: Brooks and the Brain

    The Open Preview: Brooks and the Brain

    I’m not sure how many weeks we are into this, but at what point do we assess whether it’s bad variance or a horrific process? I’m going to say it’s just bad variance. There is nothing worse than opening the app on Friday evening and seeing several lineups with 5 fucking MCs. The weekly tradition…

  • Genesis Scottish Open Preview: The Joker and Positive Regression

    Genesis Scottish Open Preview: The Joker and Positive Regression

    Stanley Steamer made an entrance last weekend and took a fucking dump into Adam Hadwin’s open mouth. I don’t know what was worse between him missing the cut or me playing him at $10k and 20%+ ownership. I thought he was the best player in the field and I was clearly wrong. He fucking sucked…