-
Scottish Open Preview: Thomas the Tank

Cam Young, Adam Schenk, and Denny all brought their dicks out, and so did I. That field was so bad so it was difficult to watch any of it regardless of results. A familiar name graces the top of the field this week. One of these times my keyboard is getting snapped in half by…
-
The Memorial Tournament Preview: Thomas and the Big Bounce Back

This past week was a fucking disaster. I was swimming with the bots, taking almost last. Somehow Spieth, along with 3 others in my lineup, missed the cut. I need a win in the worst way this week. We begin the week with a tradition unlike any other. Clicking the button to exclude Rory. I…
-
Farmers Insurance Open Preview: Homa and the Wood

I could not weather the storm. Ryders on the storm completely fucked my single-entry lineup with his missed cut. Papa Jon is absolutely dialed in right now he is going to be a very tough fade going forward, despite some inevitable regression. Live look at Papa Jon: It’s time for the plays. Not often will…
-
Sanderson Farms Championship Preview: A Grand Slam Breakfast

What the fuck is Sanderson Farms? I will need a full jar of Viagra for this one because this is one of the worst tournaments/fields you’ll ever see. I’m coming off of a good week in PGA despite how bad the Draftkings contests were for the Presidents Cup. I gurgled chalk like there was no…
-
Tour Championship Preview: Thomas and the Hole in my Wall

The Cash God is back. Just in time for NFL. I min cashed the big fucking papa. There is nothing better than seeing that bag of money on the Draftkings app even if it was a net loss of a week. Bigdicki and Spieth started out hot but gurgled a bit on Saturday and Sunday…